Amuse bouche... Veganuary

We’re thinking of doing Veganuary,” said Helen.

She was on the phone to her daughter, Kathy.

“January’s pretty much over,” said Kathy. “Did you only hear about it now?”

“They were talking about it at Bridge,” said Helen.

“Well it’s only for January,” said Kathy.

“Fine, whatever,” said Helen. “Just vegan then. We’re thinking of going vegan.”

“Who?” said Kathy. “You and Dad.”

“Yes,” said Helen.

“Really?” said Kathy.

“No,” said Helen. “Not me and Dad. That wasn’t what I meant at all.”

“Oh,” said Kathy. “So what you really mean is you think I should go vegan.”

“I wouldn’t dare,” said

Helen. “As I always tell people, I never interfere in my children’s lives. You’re grownups now and my job is done.”

“Exactly,” said Kathy. “That is what you always tell people.”

“But have you looked into it at all?” said Helen. “The veganism. Mari next door said she knows someone who lost a stone on it.”

“Veganuary?” said Kathy. “Or vegan,” said Helen. “Vegetables, anyway.”

“That’s not vegan exactly,” said Kathy. “Vegan means no meat and nothing that has ever had anything to do with an animal. Like dairy, or eggs, or black pudding.”

“Surely eggs are OK,” Helen said. “What about butter? Cheese?”

“No eggs,” said Kathy. “And butter and cheese are dairy.”

“I can’t see how you’d stick to that,” said Helen. “You’d never last.”

“That’s partly why I’m not vegan,” said Kathy. “That and I don’t really share the beliefs.”

“I don’t think the beliefs are the point for a lot of people,” said Helen.

“Then what is the point, Mum?” said Kathy. This is what the therapist had told her to do. Call her mother out on the obfuscation. Stop playing in to it. Ask her to own up to what she was really saying.

“I think we could all be healthier, is all,” said Helen. “We?” said Kathy.

“Well, you young mothers seem to struggle terribly with the baby weight,” said Helen. “We never had that in my day. And I’ve always maintained a steady weight, of course.”

“Of course,” said Helen. “Mari said the vegan thing means a lot of soup,” said Kathy. “I’d be happy to make you soup. If you haven’t time.”

“That’s really nice of you, Mum,” said Kathy. “But you don’t need to start delivering food to me just to make me lose weight.”

“Kathy, you make me sound very controlling,” said Helen.

“I’m just trying to be more honest, instead of bottling things up,” said Kathy. “It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not sure I like it,” said Helen. “I don’t know why you didn’t do Veganuary instead. Sounds healthier to me.”