I’m a realist that is trying to remain positive

SOME words get cemented into our brains. I can never think of beginning March without the phrase “Beware the Ides” jumping into my thoughts. These words bring with them a sense of foreboding, even for people like me who don’t know another thing about Julius Caesar apart from his grisly end. I begin March in the wrong frame of mind. This is particularly silly since the Ides were around the 15th. By then we should all be focussed on good things like St Patrick getting rid of the snakes, rather than looking around us wondering which of our friends have a bit of Brutus about them.

We often divide people into optimists and pessimists. I frequently duck that decision and say I’m a realist. But we do not look at evidence neutrally. We have a point of view and emotions. So am I an optimistic realist or a pessimistic realist? This reminds me of a friend who knew me well enough to be aware of my lack of religion. Then one day he discovered where I went to school and was flabbergasted. I can still hear him saying “you mean you are a real atheist. I thought you were only a Catholic atheist!”

I knew what he meant. In his mind, once a Catholic the most you could manage was to go walkabout for a while. I sometimes wonder is being an optimist or a pessimist the same.

While pondering the Ides of March I heard Ryan Tubridy talking about a Twilight Zone episode where a passenger on a plane realises that he is part of a bigger story in which he is unlikely to survive. His plane was not going to make it.

This struck fear into me despite the fact that I was safely on the ground. Since Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 I always have a good look at the crew as they pass us at the gate in case one of them looks a touch depressed. My happy, even excited, demeanour boarding a flight is not what it used to be. This does not seem to be an unreasonable reaction to me. Add in the 737 Max and it seems even more reasonable.

There is nothing that feeds confidence and optimism like a run of success. Golfers know days when the ball is just destined for the hole. We can all walk along a six inch plank on the ground, but try it between two tall buildings.

So how do we keep positive and maintain the ‘can do’ rather — than the ‘will fail’ attitude?

There are a few things I do to keep positive. Firstly, I walk a lot and there is no better way to gain a bit of perspective. Running is even better but this is Ireland and it rains. Walking lets your brain idle creatively while your body works. Problems seem to get smaller. Solutions and good ideas bubble up as if out of nowhere.

Secondly, I manage my time. The more varied my life is, the happier I am. We need to be permanently on the lookout to avoid getting into a rut. Winter is a bit tougher so you need to make a bit more effort even if it is only to get out and go to a film.

A key part of managing time is to set priorities. This often means deciding not to do things as much as doing things. I love that feeling of crossing something off the list that has been making me feel guilty when I finally realise I don’t want, or need, to do it.

Finally, I am very good at telling other people not to beat themselves up over little things. But I’m not so good at doing this myself. Sometimes it is good to get out of your skin and have a look as yourself as others might see you.

As it happens, a great time to do that is on a walk.

‘Walking lets your brain idle creatively while your body works’