Scam aftermath will turn me into Scrooge

BECAUSE I’ve recently been done out of a big chunk of money by scammers, I’ve decided to make a belated New Year’s resolution. I’m going to embrace frugality. No more ridiculous spending.

My mother, who would have been around for the last war, had a huge amount of respect for money. She tried to teach me how to be clever with my finances. But because I was defiant in every way back in the day, I flouted her advice. And became a complete spendthrift.

I can be very peculiar in some ways. I’d prefer to spend the night sleeping in my car than spend huge money for one night in a hotel. But I would then spend that money on an expensive top in every available colour. I like to have something to show for my lunacy. I’m the same with taxis. Get a bus and save the fare but spend it on multiple gadgets from the middle aisle in Lidl and Aldi. Gadgets that stay in their boxes. Or wine.

I have no idea how to save. I’m in awe of my thrifty friends. One of my friends had a friend who used to save the fluff out of the tumble dryer and make cushions out of it and sell them! I actually find that worrying. But I might have to go down that road.

I have drawers full of matching expensive sexy bras and knickers sets. I wonder could I put them up on eBay. I might add they were never worn and still have the tags on. They are in small sizes and I couldn’t bring myself to give them away. They will never fit me.

I’m going to ring every provider that I have and negotiate better deals. I have never done this in my life.

By the time I’m finished there will be a circular of warning out about me. Maybe I could send begging letters out to wealthy folk.