Amuse bouche... Office cabbage

Rebecca counselled against leaving any notes in the staff break-out area. She had worked there longer than Jeanette, and she’d seen it all.

“Just ask Andrea in accounts,” said Rebecca. “A few years ago, there was this whole fuss about people leaving out the milk. It got ugly.”

“What?” said Jeanette. “Taking out the milk for a cup of tea and then leaving it out?”

“Yeah,” said Rebecca. “Andrea in accounts started leaving notes about it.”

“But people still leave the milk out,” said Jeanette. “It makes no sense. They wouldn’t do it at home.”

“Oh I know, sure I agreed with Andrea, it’s just lazy,” said Rebecca. “But there was an anonymous poll taken, and the majority disagreed. They said that people were in and out making tea so often that the milk was out of the fridge most of time anyway. Oh, and some smart-arse made the point that opening and closing the fridge all the time damaged the environment to an extent that outweighed any issues around leaving out the milk. That was how she put it, ‘Outweighed any issues’.”

“She?” said Jeanette. “I thought it was anonymous.”

“Yeah,” said Rebecca, “But I’d be fairly sure who it was.”

“Was it the same person who’s now on the cabbage-soup diet?” said Jeanette.

“Maybe,” said Rebecca.

“It’s gross, right?” said Jeanette.

“I’m not getting involved,” said Rebecca.

Their colleague, whom Jeanette wouldn’t name in the note, obviously, was batch-cooking cabbage soup at the weekends and bringing in a tub to reheat through the week.

On Monday, it was grand. The colleague reheated in the microwave, in the break-out area that didn’t have a door and was only feet from the desks.

It smelt OK on a Monday, just faint onion and carrots with a base note of cabbage.

Like a bad perfume, that base note became all anyone could smell by Wednesday. When Friday rolled around, the entire office smelt like a slimy swamp. Rebecca had actually retched at her desk last Friday, and was convinced that her clothes reeked of it when she went out straight from work.

“Leaving a note will only make things worse and no one will get behind you,” said Rebecca. “This too will pass. I’ve been here a long time.”

“OK,” said Jeanette. “But we need to do something. Like lobby for a door on the break-out area, or get our desks moved. Did you know the desks are too close together? I’ve looked up the regulations. We have rights. I think someone should say something to HR.”

Rebecca counselled against that, too.