Amuse bouche... Pizza con

‘I ’ll put them on your knees, they’re very light,” said Ian, leaning into the passenger side of the car as he put the pizza boxes on Siobhan’s lap.

“They’re very hot,” said Siobhan to Ian, as he got back in on the driver’s side and made to pull out and head for home, dinner sorted.

“Yeah,” said Ian. “Sorry. But my point is that they don’t weigh a feather. That’s the guts of €70 right there. It’s some racket.”

“It’s not a racket, not really,” said Siobhan. “It’s pizza. And it’s six of them. And they’re good pizzas.”

“Ah yeah,” said Ian, “but at the same time, they’re only glorified cheese on toast. With a bit of tomato.”

“And the rest,” said Siobhan. “You got my Hawaiian, right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Ian. “And the hot one, and the Margheritas for our ungrateful teenagers.”

“And the two others,” said Siobhan, “because they were on a deal. You’re the one who wanted the deal. We didn’t need six pizzas between four of us.”

“The kids will finish them tomorrow,” said Ian. “They’ve a match in the morning.”

“A nice healthy meal for after the exercise,” said Siobhan.

“Look,” said Ian. “I know I wanted the three-for-the-priceof-two, and I know I’ll like the pizza once we sit down to it.

I’m just making a point. There’s not much to them and the crowd making them must be coining it.”

“Everyone says the only money in the catering game is in booze,” said Siobhan. “So I doubt it. Even if it is only glorified cheese on toast.”

“I’m telling you, they charge about €3 more per pizza than the big pizza chains, just by putting on a bit of garlic oil,” said Ian. “How much does that cost them? Nothing.”

“The boxes are burning my knees,” said Siobhan.

“We’re nearly home,” said Ian. “Ring the kids to get out the plates. I’m starving.”

“Have you not turned yourself off your dinner by now, with all the giving out?” said Siobhan.

“I like the giving out,” said Ian. “It’s part of the enjoyment of a takeaway for me. You know that.”

“And you know it sucks all the pleasure out of it for me,” said Siobhan.

“I got you extra pineapple,” said Ian.

“Really?” said Siobhan. “Did you pay for extra?”

“Ah no,” said Ian.

“Good man. That must have made your night,” said Siobhan.

“It did,” said Ian, laughing. “Actually,” said Siobhan. “I think I can feel the weight of the extra pineapple in the boxes now you mention it.”

“Thank god,” said Ian. “Dinner is saved.”