Who should be in charge?
Four Sunday Independent political writers pick their fantasy Cabinets
JODY CORCORAN
A Cabinet based on a working assumption that the Greens and Soc Dems will bottle it and that Labour will once again serve the nation. It would be the most stable, too.
Taoiseach: Micheal Martin (FF)
They said it would never happen. They were wrong. But can the man who saved Fianna Fail save the country?
Tanaiste and Foreign Affairs: Leo Varadkar (FG) Wouldn’t he be grand tripping around the place looking the part, and with the united Ireland question in the Taoiseach’s department, what harm could he do? Could keep an eye on Brexit.
Finance: Paschal Donohoe (FG)
As the closest thing Fine Gael has to a Social Democrat — or politician with a beating heart — he will be needed to keep the show on the road.
Public Expenditure: Michael McGrath (FF)
Obvious choice, and ready to slot in to Paschal’s shoes in a direct swap when the Taoiseach is rotated.
Justice: Charlie Flanagan (FG)
Safe pair of hands who brought control to this department after two predecessors resigned. Age is but a number, experience is everything.
Health: Stephen Donnelly (FF)
Well, it had to go to a Social Democrat. And with Roisin Shortall passing the opportunity, who better than the other (former) joint leader to introduce a new health system.
Housing: Barry Cowen (FF)
He has the plan, but is he the man? Let’s find out.
Jobs: Alan Kelly (Labour)
Champion of the working man might revel here and — recovery under way — lead from the front in Labour’s revival. Social Protection: Willie O’Dea (FF)
Nobody knows more about the intricacies of this department, or cares as much. Vast experience will be needed around the Cabinet table.
Education: Helen McEntee (FG)
Time to come out from the shadow of her party’s leaders and apply a level-headed approach to what will be a key portfolio.
Arts/Heritage: Aodhan O Riordain (Lab)
Because he is a luvvie and he would love it, and the last great Labour arts minister is now a fine President.
Agriculture: Heather Humphreys (FG)
O stony grey soil of Monaghan. Give her rural affairs as well, and a good Junior. Charlie McConalogue?
Communications/Climate: Simon Coveney (FG) Climate action will be a big issue for a new government, not to mention broadband roll-out.
Transport/Tourism/Sport: Dara Calleary (FF)
From a tourism county who frequents the motorways regularly, and because one day Mayo might win the All-Ireland. Might need two terms.
Children: Marian Harkin (Ind)
Not because she is a woman, but because she is smart and articulate and would be an addition to any Cabinet.
Defence: Denis Naughten (Ind)
Because he would look good in a long black Crombie coat and a hat.
GENE KERRIGAN
While the FF/FG cartel remains dominant, a Cabinet chosen on talent, intelligence and an ability to see things differently, must remain a real fantasy.
Taoiseach: Mary Lou McDonald (SF)
No other party leader could credibly represent change. The current jockeying (“It’s Meehawl’s turn, so it is”) makes a farce of the office. Tanaiste and Social Protection: Catherine Connolly (Ind) She’d attack the “safety net” culture and promote the dynamic role that Social
Protection can play in a modern society. Finance and Public Expenditure:
Pearse Doherty (SF)
FG miscounted two billion; FF didn’t notice. Doherty has wiped the Dail floor with both. Set him on the banks and insurance clowns.
Justice and Equality: Padraig Mac Lochlainn (SF)
Would be nice to see someone get the job who values both justice and equality.
Health: Roisin Shortall (SD)
Resigned from the junior Health post on principle, so she cares about the task, not position for its own sake. Prime mover on Slaintecare.
Housing: Eoin O Broin (SF)
At this stage, everyone wants him to get the position, including Eoghan Murphy.
Jobs: Louise O’Reilly (SF)
Has the strong trade union background to end the scandal of a whole class of viciously underpaid workers whose essential labour is socially beneficial.
Education: Joan Collins (Ind4Change)
Education desperately needs a passion for equality. Collins would bring a fresh, radical eye to a sector beset by stagnant notions.
Foreign Affairs: Simon Coveney (FG)
Instinct says Danny Healy-Rae, just to see Boris Johnson’s jaw drop. But Brexit matters need continuity.
Arts/Heritage/Rural: Brid Smith (PBP)
An urban activist, with a passion for fairness, would champion rural Ireland and take the issue away from the blowhards who currently exploit it.
Agriculture/Food/Marine: Cian O’Callaghan (SD)
Former Labour activist who opposed the ruinous austerity policy. Communications/Climate: Anyone except Eamon Ryan. He makes people want to burn down forests. Transport/Tourism/Sport:
John McGuinness (FF)
Played an honourable role in the McCabe scandal; doesn’t stick to the party line.
Children: Patrick Costello (Greens)
A former child protection officer, long-term activist on homelessness and the environment.
Defence: Cathal Berry (Ind)
Former army officer, former doctor, now TD and opponent of low pay, bad conditions and “empty suits”.
EILIS O’HANLON
Imagine if all three parties currently considering the framework document said “to hell with partisanship ”and came together for the national interest. They won’t, but if they did, and if having more women in Cabinet meant something more than words, this might be how it would look.
Taoiseach: Micheal Martin (FF)
The country voted for change. It might not be getting as much of it as it wanted, but a new Taoiseach is the least it should expect, and he’s a safe pair of hands.
Tanaiste: Simon Coveney (FG)
He’s lost some lustre in recent times, but remains the real deal. Let him combine being Tanaiste with a ministerial brief where he can cause less aggro than Foreign Affairs.
Finance: Michael McGrath (FF)
Solid and unshowy, he’s put in the legwork as his party’s finance spokesman since 2011 and deserves his chance to put together a real budget at long last.
Public Expenditure: Sean Fleming (FF)
As chair of the Public Accounts Committee, he’s been through the figures with a fine toothcomb, but he did say FF got “no mandate to govern”, so that’s awkward.
Jobs: Stephen Donnelly (FF)
Has done well as his party’s Health spokesperson, but his expertise is in business. In challenging times, new thinking will be needed to rapidly rebuild the economy.
Health: Roisin Shortall (SD)
She put the bones on Slaintecare as chair of the Committee on the Future of Healthcare, and has always been persuasively (com)passionate.
Housing: Alan Kelly (Labour)
Would bring energy and imagination, but would need to be ready to walk if he didn’t get the resources it’s crying out for.
Foreign Affairs: Charlie Flanagan (FG)
He held the brief until the 2017 reshuffle after Leo became Taoiseach, is a cool head, whose measured understanding of the North will be much needed in difficult years to come.
Arts/Heritage/Rural: Hildegarde Naughton (FG)
She is a classically trained singer and French speaker whose constituency includes the Aran Islands, and the job would offer Galway some small consolation after Covid-19 spoiled its year as European City of Culture.
Agriculture: Anne Rabbitte (FF)
The Cabinet needs more women, and Rabbitte has built up support by showing solidarity with struggling farmers.
Education: Ruairi Quinn (Labour)
He should be appointed to the Seanad, and given his old job back, for being the first senior politician to call for this year’s Leaving Cert to be cancelled.
Justice: Jennifer Carroll MacNeill (FG)
Only a TD since February, so risky, but the qualified barrister has been on the political scene for over a decade. Has a longstanding interest in legal reform.
Children: Mary Butler (FF)
A pro-life minister would definitely mark a radical departure from Katherine Zappone, and it would be interesting to see how a change of emphasis would play out.
Social Protection: Catherine Martin (Greens)
The Greens need to get out of their comfort zone and start tackling more bread-and-butter issues. This is an ideal fit.
Communications/Climate: Paschal Donohoe (FG) If you could clone him, he’d be a catch for any department. Needs to be in Cabinet so Oliver Callan can keep him as part of the repertoire.
EOGHAN HARRIS
The omissions in my fairly realistic four-party Cabinet point up the big problem with coalitions: many worthy ministerial candidates have to settle for super-junior posts — if they are lucky.
Taoiseach: Micheal Martin (FF)
Also special responsibility for Northern Ireland, a united island, and the promotion of pluralism, decency and civility in public life.
Tanaiste and Foreign Affairs: Leo Varadkar (FG)
Responsible for Brexit, EU and UN — including a seat on Security Council — to help him with eventual exit strategy to an international job.
Finance: Paschal Donohoe (FG)
Claims to know where the money to pay the Covid-19 butcher’s bill is hidden. We want to believe him because we like him.
Public Expenditure: Michael McGrath (FF)
Looks like he still has his Communion money but will need it, and a bit more, to reboot thousands of private sector jobs.
Justice: Charlie Flanagan (FG)
Bravest justice minister since Paddy Cooney; deserves credit for his pluralist attempt to honour decent RIC members and for head-hunting top cop Drew Harris.
Health: Barry Cowen (FF)
Last seen reading a biography of Nye Bevan. Will try hard not to rile FG colleagues unless it’s so witty he can’t resist.
Housing: Alan Kelly (Lab)
SF rivals will be wary of the AK-47 slung over his shoulder.
Enterprise: Simon Coveney (FG)
Can poach his brilliant brother Patrick from Greencore as special adviser.
Environment: Eamon Ryan (Greens)
Will be a sorry man if he allows Neasa Hourigan to block him from getting this job.
Communications: Heather Humphreys (FG)
Tough enough for any task and tidy enough to put what Patrick Kavanagh approvingly called “a Protestant look on the place”.
Agriculture: Charlie McConalogue (FF)
Competent and charismatic, will slow Pearse Doherty down in Donegal.
Education: Simon Harris (FG)
He has earned a rest from Health, but the teachers’ unions may make him yearn for Angola.
Defence: Marc MacSharry (FF)
Charming and combative, is the perfect fit to lead the Defence Forces to take the high ground.
Regional Development: Dara Calleary (FF) His appointment will spoil Eamon O Cuiv’s breakfast.
Children and Social Care: Senator Lisa
Chambers (FF)
Had a good Brexit war and deserves a battlefield commission.
Chief Whip: Thomas Byrne (FF)
Tenacious and energetic, he would politely but firmly police the team of rivals.