Cookies are a whole other ball of wax

ILOVE the internet. I can be reading or watching or talking about anything, have a query and scratch my curiosity itch instantly online. So whether it’s what year they made The Big Lebowski, how tall Jeff Bridges is or how many pieces are in the world’s biggest jigsaw (51,300 if you’re wondering), I can find out these urgent facts with delicious speed.

The problem is the ads you get bombarded with afterwards. The kids and I oft debate whether our devices are listening to us too. Sometimes you get ads for things you didn’t Google, but you did discuss. That’s up for debate but the search-related ads issue is a known fact.

They say it’s so they can tailor ads to your needs. The thing is, not everything you Google is something you like, want or need. My Italian likes soccer and the odd time I check results for him. Now my phone thinks I need to see recaps of any match played by an Italian team. I was watching my guilty pleasure, 90 Day Fiance, a guy was saying he had spent $10,000 on chatting to Russian women on websites. I wanted to know how those websites worked. Now I keep getting ads to chat to Vanya, (25), in Kiev.

I was reading about forced sterilisation in California, that took me down a rabbithole of eugenics and war crimes, I don’t know how the advertising algorithms process that, maybe I just go straight on a watchlist. I was discussing the general tracking concept with a friend. “What I can’t work out is what I have looked up or talked about to be so plagued with this really graphic ear wax ad,” she said. Me too! I get that one as well. I can only assume it’s because the gods of cookies assume we’re of an age to have big cloggy old ears. I hope Vanya in Kiev doesn’t find out.