Dear Mary: My boss is a vicious bully but I like my job and a new one is hard to find

My boss is bullying me. About 10 years ago there was a staff relations issue between me and another colleague, and my boss dealt with this dreadfully, immediately taking my colleague’s side, even after it later emerged that he was telling lies, created by him and his little crew of mates.

During this period of investigation, if I became upset, the boss would threaten me with an occupational health referral as I was unfit to work if I was upset. One day he even stood in the doorway of the bathroom barring my exit throwing this threat at me.

Yet the other party could be upset and I would get blamed for their upset. It came to a conclusion as I was able to prove the lies. However, ever since then my boss has had it in for me. I have stayed in the job as the work itself is so pleasant otherwise, and apart from a few yearly attacks, it has been OK.

However, I went for a promotion last year which I didn’t get. It emerged I was asked questions other candidates were not and when I asked for feedback he asked if it was not time that I took the hint and left. This was followed by heavy bullying where if I spoke in a meeting I was strongly disagreed with. I was shouted at viciously in the corridor and when I cried I was referred to occupational health who immediately identified the bullying. However, the report went back to the boss so nothing was done.

I have recently received an aggressive set of emails relating to a minority issue that I fall into. I have gone to a solicitor who tells me I could get an insane amount of compensation but it would end my promotional prospects. The boss hasn’t long before retirement and

I’m not sure what to do. Added to this he has his little crew of minions who are willing to lie for him. I have also been told that I could get financial compensation for the behaviour of his minions.

What should I do, go for the compensation or wait out his departure? It is very difficult to move jobs in my current profession and I would have to go back to temporary work for a few years which my family cannot afford and definitely would not be possible if I went the legal route.

Now that people are more and more back in the workplace, pre-existing problems are having to be dealt with once more. Yours is far from an ideal workplace with all the bullying going on.

In fact, I’m unsure as to whether it is just your boss who is bullying you or your colleagues as well. You have dealt with it very well as you reported the bullying to occupational health who identified the bullying. As I understand it, occupational health looks after the wellbeing of staff. They provide assessments as to whether a staff member is fit to work and offer interventions such as physiotherapy or psychological help.

Your workplace does not sound very healthy, at least not for you, and it must be frustrating for you to see that no action was taken when the report was issued. Presumably you have a human resources section who can also look at the bullying complaints. Also, as the complaint just ended up back with your boss you may well have a case for taking the issue to the Workplace Relations Commission (workplacerelations.ie).

The aggressive emails are almost a separate issue and only you can decide whether or not to go the compensation route. There are obviously pros and cons, and even with your solicitor’s advice you don’t have any certainty that you would get money. It doesn’t seem like seeking a new job is an option for you, so you will have to ask yourself what will make you most happy in your current situation. If you feel that promotion would be possible in the future, then it would be a shame to jeopardise that. Would it be possible for you to get a transfer to another section so that you wouldn’t have to work with these people again?

But the most important thing for you is not to be intimidated by the bullies. Remember that they don’t like being stood up to, so it is vital that you let them see that they are not winning. Say to yourself( but not to them) when they have a go at you “What makes you think that your opinion is one that I care about?” That may bring a smile to your face and make them wonder what is going on.

You can contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by visiting dearmary.ie or email her at dearmary@independent.ie or write c/o 27-32 Talbot St, Dublin 1. All correspondence will be treated in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she is unable to answer any questions privately.