Boring? I have been called many things in my life but never that!

RELATIONS are a tad frosty chez nous at the moment. All picture and no sound if you catch my drift. The 16 year old has thrown a spanner in the works by telling us he doesn’t want to come on holidays with us at mid term, despite the fact it has all been paid for.

In fact, so eager is he NOT to go on holidays with us that he has offered to refund us his air fare. How about that for a kick in the teeth? He’d rather stay at home with the dog and eat Dominos every day than spend time with his nearest and dearest.

‘But why don’t you want to come with us?’ ‘We’ll have a great time!’ I tell him, pathetically pleading.

His reply is to the point. ‘ Mam I don’t want to go because, well because…you’re boring.’

I am WHAT?! I have been called many things in my life but never that. I am outraged. The cheek of the little fecker.

‘I beg your pardon – I am not bloody boring! You ask anyone and they’ll you I’m great craic.’

Even to my own ears it sounds like I’m protesting too much but seriously? Boring – me? No way! He tries to soften the blow by saying that he’s including his father in that insult as well but that just makes it worse. That makes us a boring couple. I HATE boring couples.

He realises he may have gone a bit too far when he sees tears welling in my eyes. Calling me a bad mother wouldn’t have upset me as much! ‘Ah mam. Don’t get upset. I just mean that I went to spend time with my friends at mid-term.’

I soften a little and wonder would it be so bad to leave him at home with supervision? After all he’s a good young fella and the day was always going to come when he wouldn’t want to go on holidays with us.

Then I think back to when

I was 16 and my parents went away and left me and my older brother at home. I had a party (of course I did!) and we cleared out my parents drinks cabinet. My friend Emily put an egg in the microwave to boil and it exploded, someone else got sick everywhere and the neighbours complained about the noise.

And there was the time myself and my friend invited a load of fellas we’d met on holidays to come stay in my house when my parents were in Portugal. We thought they were lovely fellas and her mother made a ton of sandwiches and cakes for them.

They hotwired my car, broke my dad’s favourite golf club and stole every bottle of alcohol they could find before making a quick getaway with the sandwiches! Turns out we didn’t know them at all.

At least all this reminiscing has made me decide two things:

1. No Way is he staying home alone.

2. I am NOT Boring!!!

HETRIESTOSOFTEN THE BLOWBY SAYING THAT HE’S INCLUDING HIS FATHER IN THAT INSULT AS WELL BUT THAT JUST MAKES IT WORSE.