Making Time for Myself at Christmas
2018 is drawing to a close and 2019 is coming. Between now and then we have 2 weeks. Whenever I ask people what is most important to them in their lives…. I hear the many answers you might expect children, family, friends, partner, pet, work, a hobby they love etc. But one that is more consistently emerging in recent years … is ‘ time for myself ’.
Despite technology and progress making things ‘easier’ for us (washing dishes, clothes), convenience foods, online ordering (the list goes on) so many of us are so busy doing so many things that there is little ‘me time’.
Part of that is perhaps that feeling of being overwhelmed with too much information literally at our finger tips, that we do not always see the wood for the trees because of the many weapons of mass distraction. Yet, we all have the same 24 hours in the day.
Christmas time is an amplifier. When we are happy, we experience that strongly. If we are lonely, we feel that more strongly too. It is a busy time and yet it is also a time when we naturally reflect. We think deeply and have different kinds of conversations with ourselves and others that we do not have at other times of the year.
We look at what is important. What is working and what is not working in our lives? We remember of all the people that were good to us during the year and give them gifts. We connect with people we love and care about at home and abroad. We remember those we have lost that we were lucky to have in our lives. So much of the past gets processed and looked at. And it all inspires us to look at our present differently. This in itself is a great opportunity. It is a time in which we can naturally learn from the past if we give time to look at it in the right way.
If you want to have a good life, have a good day, if you want to have a good day, have a good next 15 minutes. If you want to have a good 2019, why not bring a little of what you want in 2019 in early. If it is ‘ me time’, make space for that. Whatever it is you want, make it happen now using the deeper insights you have access to at this special time.
Here are 4 ways to make more time for what you want most:
1. Start and end your day with ‘me time’. Even 5-10 minutes at each end of the day is a great start. Stop trying to find it.
2. Look at how you spend the other 23 hours 40 minutes each day. See if and how you can drop things, simplify them or do them more effectively. If you want time and space for something else, it has to come from somewhere.
3. Look at how you prioritize yourself and what is important in your life. Sometimes we can be so busy looking out that we forget to deal with what is inside. But if we miss what is inside, we are missing too much. What we miss most importantly is our passion which is the biggest driver of everything.
4. Schedule extended time for what you want more of in your life at least once a week – at a slower pace so you can really savour it.
This is a great time of year for experiencing life more deeply – connecting, learning, laughing, reflecting. Don’t miss it because you are too busy.
I was talking to a man recently who said that he lost his younger sister over 25 years ago to suicide, he has never gotten over this and said that Christmas is always very difficult. He said that although it’s a very sad time for him he chooses to make it a special time. He chooses to think about and value the people that are in his life. He takes the time to hug them and to appreciate them and to be grateful for them. He told me that this helps him. Maybe this would work for you too, but it doesn’t have to be a hug - not everyone is a hugger. A smile, a touch, a knowing nod could have the same effect.
The conversation made me think that that is what I will do this Christmas. I nearly lost my mother a while ago, it was close. Now I have an opportunity to appreciate her and love her, and to tell her how I feel, my father too. I know I do this every year, but I think this year it will have more meaning, having nearly lost her. Hopefully I will have many more years together with my parents.
Christmas is clearly not for everyone for various reasons, so maybe the next time someone doesn’t smile back at you or have the same enthusiasm about it, we should spare a thought for them. It could be that it’s just not a good time of year for them and they are finding it difficult.
I wish you all a Happy Christmas.