Peter’s book is a true life story from the heart
HUBERT MURPHY TALKS TO PETER MORONEY ABOUT HIS BOOK ‘IN TWO MINDS’ - A FRANK AND RAW LOOK BACK AT THE LIFE OF A MAN WHO FOUNDED SOSAD
THERE was no great inspiration for Peter Moroney to put pen to paper and write ‘In Two Minds’ - a personal and reflective look back on his life and how so many aspects came together to test his durability as a human being. It features depression, suicide, suicide bereavement, and survival. It is also about abuse and the ensuing battle with the Irish justice system. As he says, it was something that was 30 years in the making and written over the past three years. The end result is something that came from his soul.
‘Sometimes we don’t know how we feel, or can’t find the right words to express ourselves. ‘ In Two Minds’ provides a deeper understanding of living with mental health issues that are of benefit to everyone,’ he states.
‘ The book is something I had to get out of my head. It’s raw, very honest and very true.’
He knows it will be a hard read for some, but spanning 500 pages, he edited and re-edited it, but felt it needed to cover everything.
‘It is a personal memoir of sorts, but overall is kind of my little contribution to society. If it helps someone, that would be brillant,’ he stated.
Initial reactions to the book have been positive, the sentiment clear to see.
‘It was written from the heart and its from the heart onto the page.’
He remarks in the book, ‘it took so long because it was dependant on how I felt. Some days I was able to get to my little workstation, but on many other days, I couldn’t touch it. It was too much to face, and I always found that I had more ‘important’ things to do. Some days, I could get a couple of hours done, while at other times, I only worked at it for 15 minutes or so, before I had to stop. Telling this story was hard for me most of the time, and some parts of my story brought up awful memories, and it was torture trying to get everything I wanted down on the page. It was painful and draining, and I have never had so many headaches in my Life. On the other hand, it did also bring back lots of happy memories that kept me going but made me miss many people I came across in my Life.’
Peter founded SOSAD following the death of his son Simon from suicide. It went on to dominate his life for years.
During that time, he was recognised for his efforts, accepting a civic award and becoming Grand Marshal of the St Patrick’s Day parade in 2013.
But away from the limelight, his private battles never ceased.
‘If you read this, you will see that I am quite naive for a 59-year-old, and it will be evident that
I didn’t learn my lesson on many occasions when I really should have. The older I get, the more fragile and vulnerable I seem to get, and I often long for those brilliant days I had growing up. I know that many people have lived a far worse life than I have, and while I feel deeply sorry for all those people, I feel grateful in some ways for the experience I have had.’
Peter’s book is passionately written and raw, so raw. His description of the moment he knew his son, Simon, was gone, is etched with disbelief.... ‘ The next thing I remember is that I was viciously awoken from my sleep by the most horrible scream I have ever heard in my life. It could have been banshees. It took me a moment or two to register that it was Valerie, but I had no idea why she was screaming like that. I jumped up, ran out of the bedroom, and saw Valerie screaming and crying at the bottom of the stairs. As I went downstairs, I was begging to know what was going on, but she could not respond to my pleas. She could not talk properly with all the crying, but I could make out that she said Simon, and then she was pointing into the sitting room.
‘I ran to the bottom of the stairs and could see that Simon was lying face down on the sitting room floor. He was not moving. I ran to him and turned him round to see his face, to try to see what had happened. He was not breathing or moving, and the skin surrounding his lips had
I PUSHED AT HIS CHEST A FEW TIMES WITH A LOT OF FORCE, THEN BLEW INTO HIS MOUTH BUT STILL, NOTHING HAPPENED. I KEPT TRYING, BUT THERE WAS NO RESPONSE, EXCEPT SIMON STARING UP AT ME. HE WAS LOOKING AT ME LIKE HE WAS BACK PLAYING THAT ‘DEAD SOLDIERS’ GAME AGAIN.
a blueish tone to them, but there were no signs of physical damage anywhere. There was no blood. I had no idea what happened to him.
‘I tried what I thought was CPR, but I am not sure if I did it correctly. I pushed at his chest a few times with a lot of force, then blew into his mouth but still, nothing happened. I kept trying, but there was no response, except Simon staring up at me. He was looking at me like he was back playing that ‘dead soldiers’ game again. Valerie’s screams had woken the boys, but they did not leave their rooms. I suppose they were scared of what was happening, but I don’t believe they imagined their brother lying dead on the sitting room floor. All my efforts made absolutely no difference to Simon, and I called 999 and explained to them that I thought Simon was dead. I tried CPR again, and I tried shaking him and slapping him on the face, in the hope he would wake up, but I was starting to see that he was gone.’
The book is now on sale at Amazon and can be ordered direct from Peter. Check out the order page on www.intwominds.ie.
‘It is a big book, over 500 pages in paperback, because there is a lot of interconnected stories that will amaze you. It is the perfect read to help get you through the long winter nights and will give you plenty to think about. I will have a limited number of copies available in the next couple of weeks but they need to be ordered through intwomindsmemoir@gmail.com and it will be first come- first served. Check out the order page for more details,’ he stated.