The Old Christmas stocking magic
its importance to others.
At the of 13+, Fay suffered from ‘a secret’ depression and at the age of 15 took an overdose which resulted in her hospitalisation. She underwent a course of seven electric shock (ECT) treatments, which she claims have had a significant impact on her life.
“I was a bright girl, I was in the A stream. My headmaster called me an ‘11+ high flyer’. I was in the A stream for everything. The result of this electric shock treatment was instant. My memory was gone. I couldn’t do Maths.
“After this, I was in hospital for three months, I was sent back to school to do my O levels. Why I let that happen I don’t know. I just let myself be led. If only I could have summoned the strength to say ‘No, I don’t want to go back to school. Just leave me be. Just let me think about what I want to do now’.
But no, I went back to school and for the first time in my life I failed exams,” Fay explained.
According to a 2016 article in The Irish Times, some 1.4 million people worldwide receive Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) every year, with about 250 people having the treatment annually in Ireland and it’s typically deployed for the one-third of patients who develop 'treatment-resistant depression'.
While Mind.org.uk explains that ECT was much more commonly used between the 1950s and 1970s and was often used unethically without anaesthetic or consent. Some people were offered ECT without being offered other treatments and according to the organisation, it can also cause memory loss.
"Professionals disagree about whether ECT should be used. Some healthcare professionals see ECT as a helpful treatment. Others feel it shouldn't be used at all," the organisation states.
LIFE BEYOND BREAKDOWN
Since beginning work on her screenplay, Fay has revisited the hospital where she was a patient as a teenager and used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain notes from the hospital which detail her time there.
“When I first came to one particular part in the hospital notes, I couldn’t face it. I just could not face it. It terrified the life out of me. It said something like I was not to be left unguarded for one moment, not even on the toilet. I had to have a nurse with me 24 hours.
“I was under a Special Caution Notice and that freaked me out when I opened it up in the British Library. I ran out into the road. I could not believe that that was me, and yet it was me. Anyhow, I went back in, picked up the threads and just got on with it really. There have been some difficult points along the way in coming to terms with all that,” she said.
Speaking with The Avondhu, Fay said she had decided to open up about her own experience, but said that she has realised while the story is essentially about her, ‘Bread and Jam’ should be made for others, for anyone interested in mental health, especially related to teenagers and she would like to dedicate it to ‘every family who has had no choice but to walk the path with their loved one through near-suicide and depression to life beyond breakdown.’
Despite this, opening up about her experience has not come easy, as she recalls the stigma that was attached to experiencing difficulty with one's mental health in the past.
“It’s something that’s very hard to tell people. When I was brought up in Northern Ireland, there was a stigma attached to anybody who had had a breakdown and you felt, even if you knew you were talking to well-educated people, it was very difficult to acknowledge that you’d actually been in a mental hospital.
"It would almost have been easier to say I'd taken an overdose than to say I had been in a mental hospital, never mind being given electric shock treatment because people just think you’re a lunatic. Nowadays, everyone is much more open-minded and broad-minded. Mental health has taken leaps and strides,” Fay added.
FILM - MADE FOR OTHER PEOPLE
After hearing the stories of close friends who had experienced death by suicide within their families, Fay recognised the importance of sharing her story and her experience through her screenplay and plans to dedicate the finished piece to them.
“I realise, if I was having such difficulty making this film, mainly because it was about me, I should make it for other people. Where I’m at now, it has to be for everybody who has suffered from mental health issues, with hospitalisation and drugs that have been enforced on them,” Fay concluded.
Christmas comes but once a year and I suppose that makes it all the more magical and a very family orientated festive time. There is nothing to compare with the pure ecstatic jump-for-joy capers of children as they encounter the Christmassy atmosphere unfold all around them.
It starts with decking the boughs of their cosy homestead with glitter, colourful lights, smiling Santy pictures and what we all love to see, is the image of the red-berry holly enhancing each festive display. The very word Santa automatically stirs the heart of every child and even in us, seniors, who have that indelible memory of our Santy days locked away and happily re-awakened as Yuletide dawns once again.
This cuddly big-hearted Santy has expanded his toystore magnificently since my childhood days, which is not today or yesterday! The sheer joy and dreamy thoughts of his magical visit remains the same, though his shopping list and elves’ workforce has increased in abundance. It is a joy to watch the little grandkids gaze wideeyed at the colourful Smyths catalogue and lapse into dreamy visions of Christmas morning magic before their sleepy eyes. That heart-warming childhood image has not changed since time began, though Mr and Mrs Santy are always finding new ways to ensure delivery of those presents that will not fit down chimneys! My four year old bubbly grandson whispered to me that he was worried about his little friend who didn't have a chimney in his house, but I assured him that Santy knew that and all would be well.
I still silently wish that they could imagine vividly my childhood excitement reaching for the crinkly, squishy, bulging bounty of the old Christmas stocking that hung above the still-red embers of the open turf fire. We hungrily plucked the humble, but so cherished Santy magic toys from within, by candlelight
The following account of the execution of three men in the West Waterford area was published in the Roscommon & Leitrim Gazette of Saturday, September 4, 1824:
‘On Friday, John Hannan and Timothy Hannan, who were convicted on Tuesday for the murder of David Killigrew (at) the fair of Ballyduff, the county Waterford, but resided at Arraglin (sic), near Kilworth, and scurried upstairs to share the joy and revelation of “who got what”! I can recall the tiny doll, dressed in pink flowery frock and the joy of seeing her blue eyes open as she stood on the wooden poster of our bunk bed. The boys were in awe of the mechanical genius of the small cap-gun and couldn't wait for daybreak to allow a kickabout, testing the head-high bounce of their very first football. and John Holohane, for the murder of Denis Mahony at Donavan’s cottage in the West of this County, were executed at Gallows Green pursuant to sentence.
Strange to say, notwithstanding the clearness (of ) the evidence upon which they were convicted, they persevered to the last in asserting their innocence. Holohane, (by) some means, disengaged his arms from part (of ) the cords (in)
Yes, these Santa specials seem so tame in today’s kiddies' world, compared with sweet little Peppa Pig kitchen, Barbie beauty boutique or the blazing red/blue action-packed world of Spiderman mania. They seem like worlds apart, but the childish joy of expectation and thrill of Santy surprise on Christmas morning remains the same, be it a breath-taking Toyland treasury or the bulging woollen stocking hanging fireside... which they were bound, and in his convulsive efforts, after being turned off, succeeded in catching the rope with both hands, in which distressing situation he remained for a considerable time, until death terminated his sufferings. He was about 26 years of age, one of the Hannans about the same age, and the other was about 25.’