Heard the one about the comic and the footballer?

ALAN Gernon is a well-known Louth comedian – but his first book is not in the least bit funny. I first met Alan about five years ago when he made some hilarious appearances on Funny Friday. I also learned quickly that he was a great soccer fan, an avid follower of Dundalk FC and Manchester United. So, as we glory in the ups and downs of Euro 2016 – where the Irish fans have won the competition hands down – Alan Gernon has penned Retired, a compelling book on what happens professional footballers when they go from hero to zero.

He got the idea for the book when players around the same age as himself started retiring, most notably Sweden and Arsenal football superstar Freddie Ljungberg, who was born in the same week as Alan, creating a special connection.

Gernon realised that at 39, Ljungberg is now retired, while his own comedic career is in full flow.

This contrast sparked a curiosity to find out what happens professional footballers when they hang up their boots.

Yes, we all know the high-profile ones such as John Giles, Eamon Dunphy and Liam Brady, who have managed to become an enjoyable and enduring pundit trio – but they are the exception.

Gernon discovered that there are now 60,000 retired professional football players in Ireland and the UK – enough to fill most of Croke Park.

Of course, most of them are in the UK but, as Robbie Keane pointed out in a recent interview, he will be 36 next month and beyond the age when most professional players retire.

Gernon reveals that very many players find themselves on the scrapheap in their 20s.

Yes, the beautiful game can transform a player from zero to hero in a matter of minutes; just look at French striker Antoine Griezmann, who snatched victory from the jaws of defeat against Albania on Wednesday night with his lastminute winner over Albania, changing the mood of the French nation in a second.

But for countless thousands, the professional game sees the pendulum swing the other way.

Gernon discovered that half of retired professional players are bankrupt within a few years of stopping playing.

One in three is divorced within a year of their playing career ending, and 80% of them will suffer from osteoarthritis – eight times higher than the rate among men in the general population.

Players suddenly go from a life where everything is organised for them with military precision, in an atmosphere of great camaraderie, support and healthcare, to retirement at a young age where fitness, purpose and social contact drops off a cliff.

Gernon also focuses on very young professional players who can find themselves going from a life of glamour, excitement and autograph hunters to literally nothing overnight.

Some are still only in their mid20s, and some end up penniless and turning to crime.

Retired is a very unusual book on a totally neglected subject; it may not affect your life, but it’s a fascinating read.

Retired – What Happens to Footballers When The Game’s Up, by Alan Gernon is €12.99 (published by Pitch), available in all good bookstores nationwide or online.