SMOKES & DAGGERS
A mischievous mix of (mostly) news
CERTAIN figures in Labour appear to be experiencing adjustment problems in the wake of the party’s departure from the pre-election penthouse HQ in Grand Canal to a humble basement office in Hume Street. The power of being leader is unlikely to go to Brendan Howlin’s head there. One mournful Labour grandee, musing on the reality of basement politics in every sense of the word, sighed: ‘It’s a real “top of the world, ma!” moment. There we were in a skyscraper and the next minute we are in a basement flat. I used to associate basement flats with houses of ill-repute as distinct to political parties.’ Smokes refrained from suggesting that for most of us the difference between the two professions is occasionally hard to discern.
SMOKES is also intrigued by a few comings among the many goings from Labour, courtesy of the party’s advertisement for a raft of posts – for a communications and research manager, a press and research officer and a press and social media officer. Outside of noting that those departing will surely be interested to see such enthusiasm for new recruits, it seems like a lot of positions for a party of seven. One hopes the new recruits enjoy life in the Hume Street basement zone… if they can fit in.
SMOKES wonders if the unruly behaviour of those Fianna Fáil mice who spent last week slapping at their Fine Gael ‘partners’, has anything to do with the unprecedented scenario whereby FF top cat Micheál Martin, pictured, and his three main advisers are simultaneously on holidays. Such is the FF leader’s penchant for micro-management that, on the rare occasions when he does holiday, at least one of his advisers normally remains to keep an eye on the shop. On this occasion, though, the political scene is so becalmed that the entire FF top team has disappeared. One appalled Leinster House source noted of the diaspora: ‘The present Government is bad enough but we are in real trouble when there is no one keeping an eye on FF.’ On the plus side, the departure of FF’s brains trust suggests there are no plans, by that party at least, for a snap autumn election.
‘I LET a squeal out of me!’ That was how Clonguish GAA’s Alex Jones described his reaction when he pulled out a winning raffle ticket belonging to ‘An Taoiseach, Enda Kenny’. The Longford man said he had asked Enda Kenny to buy a ticket five years ago, and when he said yes, he chanced his arm and asked the Taoiseach, right, would he set up a standing order. A deal was hatched that every time he met Alex, Enda would hand over a lump sum for tickets. This week, the Taoiseach’s numbers finally came up. And the prize? A massive €25. Call the election now, Enda, your luck is in!