SMOKES & DAGGERS

THE fate of Renua’s public representatives resembles the victims of an Agatha Christie novel. Smokes hears the current famous five councillors may soon become a fretful four. Talk in Fianna Fáil circles is accelerating that Renua’s Patrick McKee is in danger of succumbing to the seductive talents of John McGuinness. Smokes is told that the wily Kilkenny TD is working to bring the lost lamb back to the fold. FINIAN McGRATH, right, decided last week to audit his own performance in government (teachers call it self-assessment) with a personalised ‘hundred days statement’. The good news is, he has done brilliantly! IT SEEMS that nobody wants to be deputy government press secretary, representing the independents. Even in Labour they were queuing around the block for the opportunity to become Brendan Howlin’s trumpet to the world during last week’s press officer interview. By contrast, the deputy press secretary job is unloved and unwanted. One forlorn figure even asked Smokes if he had any ideas about who might be interested. A case for JobBridge, perhaps? THE Fine Gael men of Cork South West are not a happy team. Last week, Fine Gael’s Skibbereen Eagle, Jim Daly, issued an outwardly harmless press release from HQ slamming ill-informed media commentary suggesting there will be no flood prevention works in Bandon this year. As Jim thundered about this ‘scaremongering of the worst order’, there was a slight problem. One of the chief troublemakers, apparently, is his ambitious young constituency colleague, Senator Tim Lombard, who is believed not to be best pleased at being castigated by his own party’s press office. DONALD TRUMP, once the scourge of illegal immigrants who had been promising to deport 11 million people if he becomes president, has been rowing back somewhat over the past week. The deportations won’t be quite so extreme now, the businessman has been suggesting. Talkshow host Jimmy Kimmel summarises: ‘He’s now agreed to give immigrants a 30-minute headstart before he tries to catch them with a net.’