Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘It’s a dead cat that needs to be taken off the field.’ Michael Noonan, Finance Minister, on the issue of water charges and how to deal with it

‘This country is beautiful but sometimes it gets a bit grey. The Toy Show is just a splash of colour, like a big rainbow.’ Ryan Tubridy, ahead of Friday’s Toy Show

‘What time is Katie Hopkins coming on to tell the nation’s children where their presents really come from?’ Ross O’Carroll Kelly, tweeting during the Toy Show

‘I was at Mass the other day and this man tapped me on the shoulder. He asked me where I had done my skydive because he wanted to do one for his 80th birthday.’ Nancy Ashmawy, star of 50 Ways To Kill Your Mammy, as she and son Baz announced they would not be making another series

‘I was very skinny and very young looking as a boy and I wanted my sister’s mates to fancy me. I wanted them not to see me as their friend’s cute little brother.’ Jamie Dornan, actor, on his childhood insecurities

I always felt the connection wasn’t quite right between me and Lord Sugar.’ Dylan St John, Irish candidate on the UK Apprentice who was sacked this week, doesn’t entertain the idea that he just wasn’t very good

‘I’m what you’d call ethnically Catholic. Don’t believe in God, still hate Rangers.’ Dara O’Briain, comedian

‘My father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles offshore on Christmas Day and I used to have to swim back. Mind you, that wasn’t the hard part. The difficult bit was getting out of the sack.’ John Cleese, joking about his tough childhood