Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘If it wasn’t for me, the dog would be dead.’ Christy Keane, convicted drug dealer who was arrested over the abduction of champion greyhound Clares Rocket but explained he was actually rescuing the dog

‘Brian has too many wives.’ Keith Duffy, formerly of Boyzone, joking about why he and Brian McFadden are trying to make money by touring hotels around the UK and Ireland as Boyzlife

‘I was texting a friend saying, ‘It’s like Sex And The City except I’m walking up O’Connell Street.”’ Tara Egan-Langley, actress and singer who used to be known as Tara Blaise, on the shock of seeing her face on the side of a bus promoting the Gate Theatre play in which she is starring

‘I have no desire to be a celebrity. I’ve seen the job description and I’m simply not interested in it. Plus, being the mother of two small children, I’m usually asleep by 9pm rather than on red carpets.’ Elaine Cassidy, Dublin actress who has raised her profile recently through Channel 4 police drama No Offence

‘Ideally you will have a proven track record in skills including steering, braking and, in particular, accelerating.’ Mercedes advertisement, for a new F1 driver following the shock retirement of world champion Nico Rosberg

‘Bundesprasidenten-stichwahlwiederholungver-schiebung.’ Austria’s word of the year (it means the postponement of the repeat of the run-off of the presidential election)

‘I can’t understand how someone could knowingly tell a lie like that about another human being.’ Cliff Richard, on being falsely accused of sexual assault