Pretty decent but Audi’s Q2 is a big yawn
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Audi’s new SUV, says Chris. Except that it’s only Quite Interesting
DITCH THE FALSE FLOOR AND GIVE US MORE ROOM
How about a big hand for the world’s official Top 10 most popular New Year resolutions: 10 Spend more time with your family 9 Fall in love 8 Helpothers in their dreams 7 Quit smoking 6 Learn something exciting 5 Stay fit and healthy 4 Enjoy life to the full 3 Spend less, save more 2 Get organised 1 Lose weight
Hardly the most profound list I know but, then again, life lived in the real world rarely is. My favourite is No.10, although I would tweak it slightly to ‘Spend time rather than money doing things with people you love’, and I quite like No.8 although I would change that to just ‘help others’.
My least favourite is No.1. Diets are like road trips – you go ‘on’ them which, by definition, means that one day you will come back ‘off ’ them again.
Personally, I have vowed to make more sausage rolls from scratch, including pastry, at least once a month. I had a trial run last week and they were a triumph. Even my mum gave them 10 out of 10 – the most praise she has heaped on me for anything in the whole of my 50 years (they were Delia’s flaky pastry sausage rolls, by the way. You can’t go wrong).
I would also like to regain my pilot’s licence as it lapsed a few years ago. But even though I think about flying every day, I know I won’t. I have nowhere to fly myself to, so what’s the point?
My third reflection is to stop being grumpy about perfectly decent new cars just because they fail to light my own particular fire, and are predictable and unexciting follow-ons from already established beige dynasties. That said, the following review was written several days ago and so remains gloriously exempt from any such ridiculous mollycoddling.
So what exactly is the automotive treat we have to usher in the New Year? Ooh look, it’s something brand-new from Audi’s Q series. The Q2, to be precise. Please don’t yawn. Believe me, I yawned enough for all of us when it pitched up on the drive.
Not that it’s dull; actually, it’s quite pretty – well, pretty-ish. The silver C-pillar at the rear brightens things up and there’s a nice bit of body sculpting around the waistline. It’s simply that it’s just a smaller, less expensive take on the Q3, based on the platform of the hairdressers’ favourite, the Audi TT.
That said, the Q2’s driver’s seat is not an unpleasant place to be. It feels firm and supportive (which usually means good quality), as opposed to hard and durable (which almost always translates into cheap). And I have to admit, the two-tone trim does look sporty and contemporary.
My car also benefited from front sports seats, complete with contrast stripes and stitching. They are very neat and natty but also non-standard and therefore add a painful £1,300 to the invoice. (For what it’s worth, might I suggest an additional third colour or texture, on the doors and dash panels to add a little more fun and zest?)
The instrument layout is signature Audi: smart, simple and easy to navigate, as are the switch gear and top screen. Cabin storage is more than adequate, with many handy cavities for all the stuff and nonsense we amass over time in our mobile homes-from-home.
The car I drove was frontwheel drive and had a nippy 1.4-litre turbo petrol engine, one of several different engines currently available, with greener and meaner versions promised for later in the year. For those who live off the beaten track, four-wheel drive is an option on all 2.0-litre models.
Fuel economy is boosted by Audi’s clever ‘cylinder on demand’
technology, which shuts down two of the engine’s four cylinders when the car is cruising. It’s astonishingly discreet, the only clue being the fuel gauge virtually grinding to a halt for the duration.
My model had a manual gearbox which, personally, I would prefer over the automatic, although the latter is said to be much smoother in all-round motoring. The Q2’s ride was a bit stiffer than expected but the handling seemed to benefit as a result. It’s actually a very enjoyable car to throw around.
The Q2 also has a relatively substantial boot. But lift the false floor and you’ll find a space almost as large again and occupied solely by a minuscule tool set – not even a spare wheel! Why not ditch this nonsense and give us more room for bags and bow-wows?
When the barman at my local saw the Q2 outside, he enquired: ‘How much is that then?’ ‘With options, €33,000,’ I said. ‘Way out of my league,’ he giggled, sighing forlornly at the same time, before adding, ‘Then again, even if I could afford one, I wouldn’t exactly be beating down Audi’s door to buy one.’
I agree with him. The dawn of a new range is an opportunity for the birth of a new classic (remember the original Audi Quattro). Something that inspires the competition to new heights, which can only be good for us, the customers. Don’t get me wrong – this car is a rock-solid four stars out of five, maybe even four-and-a-half. Even so, it left me thinking: ‘so what?’
Finally, why would anyone opt for ‘dynamic rear indicators’ that will only be seen by passersby and road users following behind? That’s like paying for nicer bricks on the blind side of your house just to please the neighbours.
As I said, I promise not to be this grumpy again in the whole of 2017 about a perfectly decent motor but, for now, grrr!