Hitting the road with Renault Twingo
Eyes down for a full house? Well, in the looks department it’s top of the shop, but oops, they missed a few bits...
‘SHE’S CUTE AND COW-EYED AT THE FRONT, COOL AND CHIC AT THE BACK’
Renault Twingo Sport GT
SO I have finally finished Sapiens, the book that confirms how nuts we humans are, even though – and probably because – we have never been more intelligent. It doesn’t end well. The word is that we may succeed in becoming a mortal – ie, never dying (at least of natural causes) – but we will most likely already have been taken over by artificial intelligence by the time that happens. The same AI that we invented and that can already think faster than us. Yuval Noah Harari’s follow-up book, Homo Deus, is out now, which I have bought but am too scared to read. Instead, I have moved on to Alec Baldwin’s deliciously honest and self-deprecating biography, Nevertheless, which I highly recommend.
In other news this week, I was ordered by my boys to accept a job offer to be a judge on a television programme. Not a role I ever thought I might take, but I had zero say in the matter.
‘Dad, you have to do it, you just have to, it’s not even a discussion.’ How come? Because it’s for a new Channel 4 show called Masters Of Lego, a quest to find Britain’s best Lego modellers. ‘Dad, it will be so sick.’ Which apparently is a good thing. Badass, even.
Incredibly, the maker of this design classic, basic, honest, old-fashioned toy was on the verge of extinction just over a decade ago. Yet, now it’s thriving – and there are 75 Lego bricks in existence for every human being currently on the planet. That’s approximately 550billion, half of which are sprawled across our living room carpet at any given moment. Not that I mind. I ‘heart’ Lego and am happy to admit to being one of the 250,000 self-confessed Afols (Adult Fans Of Lego). Watch this space for more Lego news. They are PR geniuses and I have fallen headfirst into their trap.
By the way, there is already an actual full-size Lego car that actually works and can be driven. Every component is made of Lego, even the engine. I wonder if they might send it to us to review one week? That would cause a right fuss on the school run.
No school run for this week’s car, alas, with the ankle-biters not back until next week. Which was a real shame, as I think the new Twingo Sport GT might have been a real head-turner with some of the funkier mums in the school car pool. ‘Why don’t Fiat make a Fiat 500 that comes with rear doors?’ asked my wife rather presciently the day before the Twingo rolled off the trailer.
An excellent question and yes, sure there’s the 500X, but it looks completely different! A standard Fiat 500 with two additional rear doors would not only appeal to more parents and therefore create millions more buyers overnight, it would also perhaps mean smaller front doors, as opposed to the heavy whoppers it currently sports. The problem for Fiat, however, is that Renault seems to have beaten them to it.
This car looks almost more like the original Sixties Cinquecento than Fiat’s own hugely successful modern take on it. It is absolutely gorgeous. The proportions, the paint job, the twin exhausts and the electrical furniture are all stunning. Cute and cow-eyed massive headlamps woo from the front, with cool and chic blacked-out tailgate glass wowing at the back. Renault has absolutely aced the exterior, and inside is almost as good.
Again, sportiness rules, with racing stripes and cloth finishes ticking all the right boxes, but if I am being hyper-critical, I found it a touch too dark in there – by no means joyless, just a tad too cool for school. There’s not much space in the boot though, and the back seats are good for kids but not great for adults. There is, however, bags of storage.
Under the rear seats, there are handy nets to keep things in place, and all the doors have loads of space for drinks, etc, again with elastic retaining straps.
The centre console offers additional storage for both front and rear. With climate control, auto wipers and lots of other nice features coming as standard, it’s perfectly set up as a day car for the short-haul town dweller or city commuter. Now, it might be wise for all Renault fans to skip the next two paragraphs as it all goes un petit peux Pierre Tong momentarily. Though there’s plenty of room in the front, the steering wheel is pretty much in your face. Well, it was for me. At 6ft 2in, I really could have done with the ability to move it away from me a little, which I couldn’t because Renault forgot to fit that bit. Up and down no problem, but the innie/ outie lever is nowhere to be seen.
Following main engine start, the rear-mounted 898 cc three-cylinder engine is a little lollipops-in-the-spokes, but soon quietens down with a wee bit more warmth flowing through the pipes. It also lurches forward and backwards on acceleration and braking, and from side to side when cornering at any discernible pace. Oh, and it can be bumpy enough on rough surfaces to make you sound like a Dalek.
Back to the good news. She is quite quick, much quicker than I thought she was going to be. A rapid little number indeed. This new Twingo benefits from modified engine mapping, increasing the power to 110hp with a gross torque
figure of 170Nm. Considering its kerb weight of just a fraction over a ton, the power-to-weight ratio is therefore impressively sparky, which helps mitigate the other more negative aspects of the driving experience. As does long, straight, comfortable cruising (via cruise control if you like – again, included as standard). She’ll sit very happily on the larger carriageways at 115kph, with plenty more twingo under your right foot if required. Fuel economy gives yet another reason to smile, with 54.3mpg combined in the ultraeconomical Eco mode.
Brakes? Well, whatever’s French for ‘ahem, let’s move on’. Discs on the front but only drums on the back – mon dieu!
Overall, the car’s looks overpromise what the Twingo can ultimately deliver. That said, many owners of such funmobiles never go over 100kph anyway, let alone attempt some apex-hopping down their favourite run of country s-bends of a Sunday afternoon. All they care about is economy, the sound system, the touch screen, the colour scheme and the price. Which are all tickety-boo. Oh, except maybe not the price.
Sure, the standard Twingo starts at a highly reasonable €12,340, but this Sport GT costs €17,188 and ours, with its handful of options, saw the invoice creep up to €18,994. Not so good.
Bring on The Legomobile.