Into the future with Audi’s new SUV

With three hours to kill on a sweltering Monday morning ahead of my sister’s fine-art graduation at London’s Royal Festival Hall, I felt myself being pulled to one of the new wonders of the modern world: Borough Market. Now reopened and back to its spectacular best after the terrible atrocities that took place there and on London Bridge recently, there are fewer more exciting places on the planet for a foodie to be let loose.

There’s Feng Sushi , the Mountain’s Boston Sausage stall, Pieminister’s pie-and-mash stand, serving up such mouth-watering delights as Kate & Sidney and Saag Pie-Neer. There’s Hobbs pulled-pork wraps, the Bread Ahead bakery, Fish!’s award-winning fish and chips, Oliveology and, most irresistible of all, the world-renowned Roast with its tempting take-out booth offering such outrageousness as the Scotch egg butty.

Cut to the next evening back home and family dinner time. After extolling the virtues of his latest idea for the new Range Rover Velar (a telescopic slide that can be deployed, extended and pointed in the direction of the nearest slope, preferably with a splash of water at the bottom – fitted as standard) Noah piped up with this gem: ‘Dad, please can Borough Market be the first place we go in Mum’s new car?’

‘Well, of course we can go there but it’s a bit late to still be calling Mum’s VW Up new, and we’ve already been to loads of places in it anyway.’

‘No Dad, not that one. She’s getting the new Up GTi.’ ‘Eh? What new Up GTi?’ ‘We saw it on the front page of a magazine on the way to Nana’s at the weekend.’

Cue panicky research by desperate Dad and, sure enough, there it was, the VW Up GTi. Which is indeed exciting for sure. I just wish carmakers would tell us about intended souped-up models earlier, so we have the choice of not diving in too soon.

Still, we are only talking a gap of six months here. Fans of the Audi Q5 have been waiting since 2008 for the second coming of their favourite motor. But lo, here it is.

Audi’s latest take on its mid-range luxury SUV should refocus any acolytes who may have had their head turned by the Jaguar F-Pace or mighty Mercedes GLC.

It looks fantastic. In profile it’s more perfectly proportioned than ever before, as is the case from the rear, where the 2017 makeover lends a fresh new elegance to proceedings. Which, along with the subtly racier Porsche-inspired haunches, puts it in first place in the Bentley Bentayga lookalike competition. It’s only at the front where things become a little less fluid. The nose is a wee bit too bulbous and the slats in the grille more New York subway than cool and classy honeycomb.

But forget about that, because once you’re in the cockpit, it’s a whole new world of ‘welcome to tomorrow’. The brushed bare metal and other touchy-feely materials are there to consciously reboot our preconceptions based on Q5s gone by. Much of what is now on display is bigger and bolder, more modern and sophisticated yet simpler at the same time. Audi obviously decided a major decluttering was well overdue.

The only thing that now seems out of place is the infotainment screen, which sticks out like an after-market afterthought – the polar opposite of the touchpad on which you can select various options by writing them down using your finger as a pen. The kids loved that. Watch out for 9s being taken for qs and zeros being read as the letter O.

The snazzy S-line seats are firm, which in my experience usually means two things: the car is of a higher than average quality and the ride will be more comfortable than not. Both of which proved to be true. Everything one has cause to touch gives pleasure, be it a straight edge, which feels sharp and precise, or softer features like the steering wheel and gearshift, which feel more organic and communicative. All very subtle when taken individually but they come together like a perfectly tuned orchestra as a glorious whole.

And what a drive. This car is as tight and responsive as a family SUV could be, with no fewer than seven driving modes.

In Dynamic, the prelude begins with a flight of seven effortless gear changes up through the box, the adventure culminating in an unbridled exploitation of every ounce of power available, confounding all expectations. Plant the throttle and you will never look at a Q5 in the same way again.

And it doesn’t stop there. Another of the magnificent seven modes is called Lift Off Road, in which the vehicle raises a few inches to gain extra ground clearance, a genius

INSIDE THE COCKPIT, IT’S WELCOME TO TOMORROW

sleight of hand facilitated by Audi’s new adaptive air suspension.

It costs more than €2,000 extra but is by far the best investment on the options list, as it also assists in producing that super-smooth ride for all on board.

The steering is sharp and exciting and the brakes are firm and precise. There is zero detectable body roll, fabulous all-round visibility and an overall sense of safety.

To sit in the all-new Q5 is to sit in an urban loft apartment as opposed to a florid Eighties conservatory. Not at all what I expected.

Of course, all of the above suggests the one thing none of us wants to hear: the Q5 is not cheap, especially once you start adding a few options.

The general consensus is that, despite all the updates, the new Q5 is not the best value-for-money midrange luxury SUV out there.

But it depends what you consider to be valuable. If it’s class, style and comfort, I would say it’s way ahead. If only Audi could include one or two of those essential (current) options as standard the Q5 would be king of the hill once again.

How about they close the factory for an extended summer break while their bean counters go back to school and work on those sums instead?