Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘If only she’d been around to help Jesus build a more diverse, inclusive group of Apostles. Not a single woman among them!’

Michael Davis, US editor of the Catholic Herald, responding to Mary McAleese’s speech accusing the Church of misogyny and calling for the Pope to develop a strategy to include women

‘Does anyone remember when the Oscars was about movies people had actually seen and not politics?’

PJ Gallagher, comedian

‘Hit your Chevy with a levy, tax your whiskey and rye.’

City AM, a London newspaper, with a front-page headline on a story revealing that the EU will respond to Donald Trump’s steel and aluminium tariffs by imposing its own tariffs on US imports including cars, bourbon and agricultural produce

‘We had a special relationship with the UK, before they were in with a lot of opt-outs and now they are out, they want a lot of opt-ins.’

Xavier Bettel, prime minister of Luxembourg, on Britain’s approach to Brexit negotiations

‘You’re being vomited on and it will spill on the carpet and you’re thinking, “How did my life come to this?”’

Faye Dinsmore, model, on the less idyllic side of looking after her baby son

‘He keeps his hands where you can see them, never says a rude word and, most importantly, no penis at all.’

Jimmy Kimmel, Oscars host, reveals why the coveted statuette is the ‘most respected man in Hollywood’

‘Nobody does selfdeprecating humour better than I do. It’s not even close.’

President Donald Trump, in a speech he gave last weekend