SMOKES & DAGGERS
A mischievous mix of (mostly) news
WE WERE reading Leo Varadkar’s biography on the Fine Gael website – don’t judge us. It seems whoever wrote it may not have English as their first language. ‘Leo Varadkar TD is youngest ever Taoiseach since 14 June 2017,’ it reads in garbled prose. It adds: ‘He is also the minister for Social Protection since 6 May 2016.’ No wonder Leo’s so mad about the likes of us suggesting he’s all spin, no trousers: the poor man’s been holding down the top job AND a cabinet ministry and nobody’s noticed!
BROADCASTER George Hook, pictured, tweeted yesterday just before the start of Ireland’s victory over the English, to claim a Grand Slam, only the third in our history. ‘The Quiet Man on RTE1. Rugby on TV3 – decisions, decisions!’ he joked.
SPEAKING of rugby, even though he wasn’t playing, retired legend Brian O’Driscoll was a big winner yesterday. At the start of the season he placed a very smart bet with Paddy Power on Ireland to win the Grand Slam, €150 at 7/2, which meant he took home €675, a profit of €525. Bod shared the betting slip online, adding the caption: ‘Drinks are on me!’ Or he could put it towards the house extension.
A PRIMARY school teacher posted on social media a photo of a table quiz answer sheet from a young pupil. The answer to the first question, who is the Irish President, was: ‘miggeldy higens’.
THE ferocious mien of John Deasy, who attended the White House in his capacity as a special envoy for immigration, impressed some of the American security detail. As Deasy glowered at the world, one asked: ‘Who is that guy? The Taoiseach’s security?’
SMOKES enjoyed this tweet from the official Garda traffic account on an incident in Dundalk: ‘First car stopped and seized for no insurance. Driver then “phoned a friend” who arrived in a car which was also not insured… Second car seized. Ask the audience or 50/50 still available but we think they’ll probably walk home.’
WE can’t let the death of Stephen Hawking go unmarked. There’s a story about a BBC Newsnight producer in the room with Hawking, pictured, setting up for an interview. The producer pulled out a lead for a light and Hawking slumped forward in his chair, as if something vital had been disconnected from his companion machinery. The terrified producer ran for help, and returned only to find Hawking chuckling to himself.