Me, myself and I
What you’ll need to know as a solo traveller on the road
Awhile ago I wrote here about the perils of travelling alone – the fact that you tend to be given the worst table in the restaurant, for example, and also the problems that arise in the airport when you try to get something to eat and find yourself balancing a tray with one hand as you pull a wheelie case behind you with the other, while also trying to carry a bundle of newspapers or dutyfree goodies. And all as you make your way to the cash desk, and then to a seat.
When I wrote that piece, loads of you – mainly women – emailed to say that you felt exactly the same. That travelling alone could be a pain because of the practicalities involved, but also because of how you are perceived by some of those who work in the tourism/hospitality industry. I wasn’t the only one, in other words, who had been seated at the table beside the toilets.
I’ve been travelling alone since my husband died almost three years ago and, at first, it was a totally negative experience – both emotionally and practically. It’s still difficult. So much so that I sometimes avoid a solo trip unless it’s something that I desperately want to do.
I went through a spell before Christmas where I travelled with friends on a few occasions, but so far this year I’ve done a number of solo trips again. And I’m getting a bit better at negotiating the minefield.
So what have I learned so far?
1 Don’t stay in an apartment if you are only away for a few nights. That’s fine – and obviously more affordable – if you’re there for a long-term stay because you are likely to have friends or family popping out to visit you.
I had an apartment in Italy for six weeks last winter and although I was on my own for days at a time, there was always someone about to arrive just as I was becoming lonely. If you’re visiting a city for just a few days, that won’t be the case, however, so it’s better to avoid the isolation by staying in a small hotel.
Even in Venice, which I know like the back of my hand, I always stay in a hotel if I’m there on my own for anything less than four or five nights. And I always stay on a bed and breakfast basis. It’s nice to be greeted with a cheery ‘good morning’ by the person on reception and then, when you go in for breakfast, there is also a bit of social engagement. When I stayed in Zurich by myself for a weekend in February I had a great chat on both mornings with one of the breakfast waitresses in my hotel.
2 Whether it’s an apartment or hotel, get yourself a room with a balcony – and preferably a balcony that overlooks somewhere with activity – like a town square. Don’t be fobbed off with a room that overlooks the hotel’s bin area, for example.
Apart from talking to people, there’s nothing better if you’re alone than being able to do a bit of people watching. I recall staying in Zakynthos town in a hotel that was right on a pedestrian square. Children played there during the day, old people sat chatting on benches, and then, on the Saturday evening, a wedding party appeared, complete with the stunning Greek bride. It was terrific theatre, and provided me with company, in its own way. It also means that if you decide to have room service for dinner, you can peoplewatch the night away.
3 This might seem boring to some of you but if I’m away and not having breakfast in a hotel, I always go to the same café every morning. In Venice it’s just a stop-off for an espresso macchiato in the midst of my early-morning walk. So every day at about 8am or 8.15am I pitch up at Federico’s café/ bar in the Cannaregio district.
He knows me now and I’m always
greeted warmly. During one of the international soccer tournaments a couple of years ago I was even teased about ‘Mart-een O’Neeel’ by a few of the morning regulars.
There’s something about that kind of familiarity that is very heartening when you are going to spend the rest of the day alone.
Same when I’m in Paleochora in Crete. There, I wander through the old part of the village every morning to the Almyrida Café, where the terrace out the back offers both sunshine and shade and a spectacular view of the sea, which is only a few steps away.
Again, Stelios, the owner, greets
me like an old friend. And his tomato omelettes are sensational!
4 If you’re in a city you haven’t been to before it’s worth forking out a few bob, either for a walking tour with other people, or for a guide who will take you on a one-to-one tour of the city. I think that a communal tour is probably preferable if you want to ‘connect’ with people. For while you might not ‘take’ to all of the other walkers, the chances are there will be one or two of them you will really like. And that presents the possibility of meeting up later for a drink or a coffee.
5 Take a book when you go out to a restaurant. Three years ago I felt really self-conscious doing this. Not anymore. Dining on your own can be a challenge at first. If you feel awkward, lunch is easier than dinner, so have your main meal in the middle of the day. I’m now comfortable with evening dining as well. And while you might crave a bit of conversation while you’re out for dinner, never underestimate the power of the nose-buried-in-abook scenario to keep those you don’t want to talk to at a distance.