MICHEAL CLIFFORD Players need to man up on drug testing

GAA players have ‘professional dedication’ to their sport and are sold as poster boys of cultural integrity but when their doorbell rings with a tester outside all we get is...

‘IT IS NOT BULLYING TO WITHHOLD TAXPAYERS’ MONEY’

THOSE who do not believe in the performance enhancing ability of chemical compounds should have been in Croke Park last month. It is nothing new for the Big House to serve as the stage for an ageing band of brothers who brazenly defy medical science by launching ever more spectacular final comeback tours but much as we love Andy Moran’s Mayo, they just don’t move like Jagger.

They rocked us to the point we temporarily forgave them for raiding the children’s college fund for the privilege of being there, when ordinarily the only time we ever get to see this many old men in the one room is when we help out at the local nursing home bingo night.

This had more of a forever young vibe to it, though, which extended far beyond Charley Watts’ botoxed-baby-bottomed smooth visage and they sent us home wondering if the drugs were still working.

Yeah, we know that the Stones have not been stoned since Keith Richards literally fell out of a tree and had a metal plate inserted in his skull almost 30 years ago, but given his legend there has to be a residue of stuff still rocking inside that man’s bloodstream.

It is still unconfirmed but apparently Peter McKenna, Croke Park’s stadium manager, only signed off on the lease of the stadium for the gig after securing a guarantee that testers would not demand a urine sample from Richards post-match.

Apparently, the GAA was a little unnerved by Keith’s penchant for experimentation in his heyday.

Well, you can’t be too careful with Croker in the GAA high season, can you?

Instead, it has just been contaminated by a fog of GPA inspired nonsense. They took a stance last week but it felt more like a dressed-up tantrum.

They belly-ached that the Irish Sports Council had at the ‘11th hour’ held their members to ransom by withholding payment of the annual inter-county player grant, until they sign up in effect to the principle of their players facilitating out-of-competition drug testing at their homes.

It is a fight which they can only lose and not because, as the former Kerry star Bryan Sheehan asserted this week, players are being subjected to ‘bully boy tactics’ but because common sense and best practice demand they must lose. And the next person who uses the defence that GAA players are amateurs, we will lock them into a room where they will only have Dessie Dolan’s analysis for company.

Listen to the GPA’s description of their members and you will have reason to be confused.

In terms of commitment they are professional, in status they are elite amateurs and when they are pushing commercial buttons they are ambassadors.

But when the door-bell rings and there is a tester outside, sure the pure creaturs are only amateurs.

Here’s the thing, though, you can’t be a little bit professional no more than you can be a little bit pregnant.

And here’s another thing as far as the Irish Sports Council and WADA’s process is concerned, it really does not matter when it comes to doping if beneath your ambassadorial skin you are a professional with elite amateur leanings.

They really don’t care. What matters is that not only are you clean, but you are committed to keeping your sport clean in an open and transparent manner.

And, no, it is not bullying to withhold taxpayers money. The argument may have been made when the GPA, with the GAA’s backing, was successful in securing these grants in 2007 that it was deserved because of the social, cultural and economic contributions which inter-county players make.

But the grants are not being paid out by the Department of Social Protection or by the Department of Finance or being funnelled through the Arts Council, all of whom would happily hand over taxpayers’ money without demanding that you go urinate in the corner.

They are being distributed by the Sports Council, however, and they see inter-county players as sports people rather than poster boys of cultural integrity.

And because of that they must play and be tested by the same rules as everyone else, including amateur athletes up and down this country like the Cork marathon runner Lizzy Lee who sent out a tweet last week in response to the GPA’s hissy fit.

‘I’m an amateur runner, working full-time. I’ve had testers wake my smallies on a week/school night to take my blood in my kitchen. I’m okay with it, as it makes my performances believable and helps the sport as a whole,’ she posted.

Now stand her words alongside the illogical stance taken by the GPA and our inter-county players have never had so much reason to feel so small. They should have the good sense to look at a sporting universe which has been poisoned by cheats.

They should have the foresight to see that in an environment where preparations have hit the ceiling, someone may be tempted to find a way to burrow their way up onto the roof.

They should have the awareness in a summer which has seen new championship formats in hurling and football stress-test recovery levels like never before to know that sometime somewhere someone will seek a short cut.

Above all, even if it comes at a small sacrifice, they should not have to be coerced into doing the right thing just for a few euros more.

Or as Jagger might sing it, you can’t always get what you want but sometimes you get what you need.