Paradise (and a bit too much passion) in Ruscany
Frank Barrett delights in the Russian-inspired luxury of Tuscany’s villas – and deplores the shameless behaviour of the local wildlife
We were woken in the dark watches of the night by the sound of someone being slowly strangled on our bedroom roof. ‘Eeeeeuuurgggghhhhheeekk.’ An awful, terrifying noise that went on and on.
We finally decided that it was unlikely to be the sound of murder. ‘Perhaps it’s a bird with an injured wing,’ suggested my wife.
It was, of course, animals behaving badly. We threw back the bedroom curtains and interrupted two pine martens in the throes of passion: they gazed back at us, not surprisingly in the circumstances, with some annoyance. ‘What? Why are you staring at us?’
They then scampered off across the garden and into the woods – only for the same thing to happen 15 minutes later.
Funnily enough, going to bed we had remarked on the extraordinary quiet of the Tuscan valley in which our rented villa lay. During the day the loudest thing we heard was the cuckoo.
Our journey to this rural paradise was not without its problems, however. Logging on to the Hertz site a couple of weeks before the holiday, I discovered they had just one car available at Pisa airport on the day of our arrival – a high-spec Fiat 500 which worked out at an astonishing €1,480 for a week.
You would expect it to turn into a helicopter for almost €1,500: it didn’t, it was just a tiny car barely big enough to take one large suitcase. But it had a ‘retro’ gear-lever knob.
I was therefore forced to take a trip down the car-hire road less travelled (by me, at least). It was suggested I try Zest. I discovered it didn’t rent cars itself but searched out the best car-hire deals with other rental companies. I was offered lots of cars at what seemed surprisingly reasonable rates.
So it was that on day one of our holiday, I found myself turning up at Sicily By Car to pick up my car for Tuscany (not Sicily) for €260 for the week. An online review site devoted to Sicily By Car was alarming: tale after tale detailing disappointments and alleged rip-offs.
At the desk I was ready for the worst but, as is often the case, things couldn’t have been better: rapid service and an unexpected upgrade to an SUV-esque Opel. Having lavished this praise, I now fully expect to check my credit card bill in a couple of weeks and discover I’ve been landed with a €2,000 bill to cover the cost of a new engine. I’ll let you know.
Within half an hour of landing at Pisa, we were heading towards Florence. Two hours later we were at our villa a couple of miles outside Radda in Chianti. It was only as we drove through the sweet, lush hills that I realised that, while I’ve been to Tuscany before, this was the first time I had been in the heart of what was known as Chiantishire for the number of wealthy Britons who once had homes here. It should come as no surprise to learn that in Tuscany, as elsewhere, the Russians have since moved in (it is now known as ‘Ruscany’). The Russians, it has to be said, have been influential in raising the standard of self-catering properties. British property owners tended to be former private school types brought up in the spartan conditions of boarding school – in terms of comfort, their properties were often barely a step up from a static caravan.
IN A REGION FAMOUS FOR SLOW FOOD, THESE ARE SLOW ROADS
The R ussians, h owever, d o e verything with more panache. I knew from a g lance a t t he s uperior d ecor that we were in a Russian-owned property ( if p roof w ere n eeded, t he TV w as c onfigured i n R ussian).
Many of the local roads are perfectly s erviceable l anes. I n a r egion famous for the trend of slow food, these are slow roads and Chianti is a ll t he b etter f or t hem.
We took the slow road to Siena, famous for the Palio horse race which takes place twice a year in Piazza del Campo. The main building on the square is the Palazzo Pubblico, a 13th Century masterpiece. For hundreds of years this was o ne o f t he t allest n on-religious buildings i n t he w orld. T HE P alazzo P ubblico is a celebration of the benefits of benign municipal government, demonstrated in a fascinating fresco, An Allegory Of Good And Bad Government, which decorates the building’s council chamber. The benign council are shown being guided b y f aith, h ope a nd c harity – supposedly the bedrock of a city state t hat b ecame o ne o f t he w ealthiest i n E urope.
It oversaw the creation of the Monte dei Paschi bank, the world’s oldest, which for centuries was a potent charitable force in the region. Sadly, it was privatised in 1995 and was badly wounded – perhaps fatally – in the 2008 crash. You can’t help thinking that somebody should have taken a longer look a t t hat f resco.
Two other places you must see are Monteriggioni, a ridiculously picturesque walled town, and Casole d’Elsa, a thriving hilltop town which exists as a ‘real’ place rather t han a s a t ourist t rap.
In truth, however, it was hard to drag ourselves away from the villa. With a large pool, wood-fired pizza o ven a nd a s ound s ystem t hat extended to the pool, it had all we needed f or t he p erfect b reak.
We spent our final night at the Belmond Villa San Michele in Fiesole, the hotel with probably one of E urope’s f inest v iews. W ith t winkling F lorence s pread o ut b efore y ou as a pre-dinner aperitif, it has an unbeatable a lfresco r estaurant.
This was where Kim and Kanye stayed when they got hitched. Not surprisingly, it now does very well for weddings. Lounging on our patio, we had a front row seat for a lavish ceremony that boasted a string q uartet a nd, l ater, a s tunning firework d isplay.
En r oute t o P isa f or t he f light h ome I r eceived a n e mail f rom o ur a irline warning that a French air traffic controllers’ strike could delay our departure. But sometimes a trip goes so well that you can dismiss even t hat t hreat. O ur p lane g ot b ack just five minutes late. An Allegory of a G ood H oliday.