‘He was wearing boxers under the Communion dress’
THE following are extracts from the UL report on transgender primary school children. Names are as they appear in the report, but in that document they have been changed to avoid identification:
Geraldine: ‘The First Holy Communion… the poor child was roaring crying… at the dress and had the boxer shorts underneath… it was probably the worst days of our lives, mine anyway. Looking back…
John: Yeah, well he had a choice of wearing a white robe or a white dress. And I wanted… he wanted the robe and I wanted to have him in the robe because I knew he didn’t want the dress. But kind of Geraldine and her mam went with the dress. I think… everyone was just looking at each other on the day going… this isn’t right.
Geraldine: I hate photographs of that day.
John: I was cross about it for a long time, to be honest like. Because… I just felt no one listened to me in it. No one listened to me and no one listened to Tadhg in it. So it was hard like.’
– Geraldine and John, parents of Tadhg, age 12, Catholic school
Siobhán: ‘So initially she started refusing to wear knickers that were pink. Then he wouldn’t wear knickers with a bow, then couldn’t have a frill. And so I just bought underpants. To me, I didn’t care, I’d buy whatever. But her dad has always struggled, he’s been back and forth with it. And my family didn’t agree and everyone thought I was kind of indulging in her you know… her tomboyishness or her phase. But she gets so worked up, so I give her what she wants to wear and then she’s happy.’ – Siobhán, parent of Shauna/ Jason, age five, Educate Together school
Eavan: ‘When he was about three years old, somebody had been saying to him in Montessori that he was a tomboy and he said, “What’s a tomboy?” and I said “A tomboy is a girl who likes boys’ stuff”. At three years of age and not being a good talker, he said to me: “On the outside I’m a girl, but on the inside I’m a boy. I’m not a tomboy”.’ – Eavan, parent of Fred, age nine, Church of Ireland school
Ailbhe: ‘He started school with long hair, skirts and dresses. So it was funny there’s never been a transition because Darren still uses male pronouns and identifies very much as a boy but presents very much as a girl. His friends are mainly female, and he is into unicorns and fairies, but he is also into power rangers and fighting. I suppose our story is just about lots and lots of fluidity. And then we’ve been in a context where that’s been a very easy thing to do.’
– Ailbhe, parent of Darren, age six, Educate Together school