Table-sized servings? Well, it is the BIG Country!

Martin had no problems with immigration filming his new series, but he did suffer culture shock in other ways. ‘i’d never been to the central bit of america before. Food is massively different. Portions are a lot bigger. You can’t tell them what to do. Like it or lump it, there are certain things they do and that’s that. So going there telling them what to do is probably not the greatest idea in the world.’

is he talking about Jamie Oliver who attempted to tackle american obesity?

‘i mean, great. Good on him. i can see California, new York and the Hamptons embracing that kind of stuff, but in deepest, darkest texas? no, no, no!

‘not when they order a piece of meat and it comes out the size of a table. that’s what they want.’

His most memorable meal was in texas. ‘We went to an old hut, angelo’s barbecue rib shack.

‘You go in there and punters have just left their guns against the wall. Or there are people with holsters. the menu’s so simple, but they barbecue 2,500lb of meat a day. Pulled pork, ribs, smoked brisket, really simple, served with slaw. it comes on a plastic tray with plastic cutlery and the coldest beer in an ice-cold glass. ‘there’s everything the owner’s family has shot on the wall around you. Heads of all the animals. that’s so weird, but it was brilliant.’ talking of heads reminds him of another place. ‘a guy near the Mexican border did this special treat for me: a whole cow’s head cooked underground in a pit of charcoal for ten hours. ‘this thing pulls up on a chain like something i saw in the London Dungeon when i was a kid. it looks exactly like a head, with the horns on. You take the meat straight off. the cheek, the tongue, the brains, the lot. Oh my goodness, it’s amazing.’ not one for vegetarians, is it? ‘nah, but if you’re in the place, that’s what you eat. Just enjoy it. a shot of tequila, an ox’s head and the bloody heat. that was the hottest place on Earth. i went through about six shirts of the same colour. Bloody man-boob sweat! it’s a problem when you’re a bit overweight.’ What was his biggest guilty pleasure, food-wise? ‘Oh God. We finished at 12 o’clock at night, so it might be a waffle house for dinner, and you might have a Mars bar and a red Bull for breakfast and that’s about it before you go off again. ‘i said on the plane, i’m gonna do my best not to eat anything that’s bigger than my head. But that was gone in the first day. ‘We went to angelo’s Pizza in the farmers’ market in La. ‘that’s amazing pizza. it was about the size of a bloody cushion.’

‘I’ ve lost a stone-and-a half but that loss is gradually starting to disappear. I’ m getting older. I’ve now got glasses. Things are dropping off and things are not working right’