The art of shilling to bloodthirsty vegans
Igot confused this past week, while digesting the news that the editor of the Waitrose Food magazine, William Sitwell, had resigned after joking about killing vegans. This looked and tasted exactly like a real, meaty controversy, full of flavour and the aromas of persecution, hate speech, privacy, freedom of speech, accountability, professionalism, you name it. But in fact it was entirely synthetic. As controversies go, this was tofu – anaemic, highly-processed, unpalatable and probably not even all that good for you.
In case you missed it, what happened was that a freelance ‘journalist’ (more on those inverted commas in a moment) named Selene Nelson pitched an idea for a regular feature to Sitwell, and he reacted badly.
Her idea was that, what with veganism catching on and all, the magazine ought to do a regular feature on it, featuring recipes, news, tips and so on.
Let’s just say, as feature ideas go, this one is as pedestrian as they come. It would be no surprise if Sitwell had responded wearily to it, but he went farther than that. He went full meathead.
‘Hi Selene,’ he wrote. ‘What about a series on killing vegans, one by one? Ways to trap them? How to interrogate them properly? Expose their hypocrisy? Forcefeed them meat? Make them eat steak and drink red wine?’ He then simply signed it ‘William Sitwell’, without the usual ‘Thanks’ or ‘Best wishes’ or ‘Rgds’ or any of that. So, that’s a no then.
Next Nelson had the idea of pitching a story to online news website Buzzfeed about hostility towards vegans, using Sitwell’s response as an example. According to her, Buzzfeed decided to publish the Sitwell angle without crediting her or paying her. They shafted her, in other words, although hey presto, we all know her name now.
Sitwell apologised but it was too late. His head had to be served on a platter. Sides had to be taken. Virtues had to be compared and contrasted.
There are a couple of aspects of this story that don’t have traction in Ireland, such as the fact that Waitrose is a British supermarket chain for people with notions and that Sitwell is an old Etonian, pally with Jacob Rees-Mogg and heir to a baronetcy. All the same, the tale had enough flesh on its bones to be discussed this side of the water too, along some of the following lines: Was this a private email? Is it OK to publicise a private email? Should we all be more careful about what we write in emails? Do people hate vegans? Why do people hate vegans? Are vegans a persecuted minority? Do vegans hate humans? (See Selene’s own delight at the seven deaths in the Pamplona Bull run in 2015 on page 31.) Was this hate speech? Is it OK to make mean jokes? Should you lose your job for joking about killing vegans even though clearly you’ve stopped short of actually killing any? Should you lose your job for being a puffed-up ignoramus? Is it enough to apologise? Do friends of Jacob Rees-Mogg and/or vegans (depending on which side you take) deserve everything they get? In fact, though, we’ve talked ourselves around and through the story any number of ways without hitting at the substance of it, which is that it’s a marketing affair from beginning to end. What we’ve been doing is arguing philosophy on the sales floor.Selene Nelson is not so much a journalist as a ‘lifestyle blogger’, and for those of you not in the know, that means she gets free stuff from companies in exchange for writing about those companies. ‘I regularly work with brands to give them online exposure and help them boost business,’ she writes on her website. It’s advertising, is what it is, and doubtless she’ll be offered the chance to do plenty more of it from now on.
Sitwell, meanwhile, edits the Waitrose inhouse magazine whose purpose naturally enough is to advertise Waitrose. At present, Waitrose is busy promoting its range of vegan pre-prepared foods to the picky, well-heeled masses. That Sitwell has lost his position has nothing to do with freedom of speech or privacy or persecution of minorities and everything to do with profits from sales of the beetroot burger. He simply got in the way of the Waitrose bottom line.
We’ve been caught between two shills, is all.