Castles in the Eir... my vain quest to make contact

I DON’T know where Eir claims to have its expertise, but it certainly isn’t in communications. I tried to contact them to change my contract but when the automated voice told me that there was a more than 40-minute wait to speak to customer care, I gave up. Call me a wimp, but I did the same the following day and the day after. Reluctantly, I took the webchat route where, after a time-consuming process involving punching in account numbers and dates of birth, I was informed that only customer care could change the contract, or an Eir store. I opted for an Eir store in Dublin city centre where, naturally, I was told to contact customer care. I explained that the webchat guy had told me that a shop could look after it, whereupon the salesman scoffed that he was in Bangladesh in a call centre and hadn’t a clue what he was talking about. He mumbled something about Eir transferring its customer care service to some other outfit and teething problems. The next morning I tried customer care at 9am on the dot, the optimum time for phoning, or so I’m told, and the wait time is now ‘just’ 30 minutes. Maybe things are improving. Originally I wanted to add my daughter’s mobile phone to my contract but now I want to take my business elsewhere. Except that I can’t. I’m the silent prisoner of a communications giant that won’t speak to me and its oxymoronically named customer care department.