Quotes OF THE WEEK

‘If the United Kingdom does leave the European Union, and I expect that it will, I think we should always leave a light on for them should they ever decide to come back.’ Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, on Brexit

‘I’m delighted we’re having an Easter recess. At the rate we were going I thought we would get to Easter Sunday and the good Lord would rise again before this House ever did.’ Chris Bryant, British Labour MP and former clergyman

I’m going to go home and gently break the news to my wife. I don’t think she’s going to believe me.’ Anonymous Lotto scratch card winner, who came to the National Lottery offices to pick up his €500,000 cheque before he told his wife what had happened

‘You’re going to need therapy. The show ending is going to send all of the world into seeking professional help’ Gwendoline Christie, ho plays Brienne of Tarth in Game Of Thrones, looking forward to the ending of the show

‘Might be time to issue a comedian’s edict to audiences in general: if the person onstage is breathing heavily, sweating, and lying down suddenly, it’s probably not part of the act.’ David Baddiel, comedian, following the death of comic Ian Cognito, 60, on stage, which left audience members thinking it was part of the act

‘This was my holy grail, to get back down to the weight I was when I was 30. I’m getting back into dresses I haven’t worn in 30 years.’ Mary McEvoy, actress, who has dropped from a size 18-20 to a 10-12