GARDEN OF HUMANITY
No fake plots in this garden as human nature takes pride of place
THERE are times I think that if there really is a final day of judgment, I much rather would face God Almighty toting a spreadsheet of all my transgressions unfurled like a roll of Andrex in the paws of a puppy than I would face the judges on Super Garden. Unlike talent shows, where the range of clichéd responses from judging panels extends little further than ‘you smashed it!’, the three who deliver feedback on the gardens truly know their stuff.
I’m sure Monica Alvarez is a lovely person in real life (and, indeed, she’s always generous with a hug for the contestants) but, my, she terrifies me. She has that great gift of not backing down, and doesn’t even for a minute entertain hesitation. She and her fellow judges, Bloom director Gary Graham and garden designer Brian Burke, are skilled at seeing the inherent flaws of a design on paper and always are generous with advice. The competitors who die by that sword are the ones who don’t listen or, even when they do, don’t hear.
Fortunately, all mostly was sunny indeed as Super Garden returned for a new series. First up was Dermot Davis from Bray. Dermot had a busy landscaping business in the early Noughties and employed 25 people, but the crash hammered him. He had to lay off the staff, lost the business, lost his home, and ended up couch surfing thanks to the generosity of family and friends.
As he said himself, his mental health took a beating too so, for him, designing a show garden worthy of Bloom was as much about redemption as it was about creativity.
He was tasked with overhauling a garden for Alan and Jane McCarthy and their children in Greystones, and came up with what he called Sun And Fun, a garden split between sun-lounging areas for the grownups and play areas for the children, with an outdoor stove for chilly nights, lots of evergreen planting, and mosaic walls.
Unusually for Super Garden, and perhaps given Dermot’s background, there was no panic. He clearly knew how to work a digger, and even a fairly staged moment of panic, when a palm tree wouldn’t fit through the side passage to the back of the house, appears to have been solved simply by bringing it through the passage on the other side of the house.
For once, it was nice to just enjoy the process, because far too many episodes of Super Garden seem tougher on the participants than Special Forces: Hell Week, as they end up gaunt and hollow husks of
their former selves.
The clients were lovely and so invested that Alan McCarthy got genuinely emotional when he expressed his hope that Dermot would be the winner this year.
On the first day, so many people turned up to help, the old garden was cleared in a matter of hours. No one set fire to anything, nothing broke, there was no torrential rain, and while a few of the elements had to be toned down, the core of the design remained intact. The result was a garden I’d kill for.
Reality television doesn’t always have to be about fake drama that leaves your heart in your mouth. Sometimes, it just needs to be warm and human, and this episode had both qualities literally in spades. There was more of the same in
Ambulance, the Bafta-winning documentary that follows paramedics in the UK on their rounds.
On Thursday night, we were in Manchester, where the homeless problem seems perhaps even more pronounced than in Dublin, and accompanied by the often tandem issue of drug abuse.
One crew had dealt with two overdoses just hours into their shift, while another was despatched to treat a man who, having left prison just that morning, had taken heroin, methadone, cannabis and spice, and was limp and unresponsive in a back street behind Primark.
It was hugely poignant to see the friend who called in the emergency looking on and repeatedly fingering a Rosary and blessing himself.
The main story, though, was of Stacey, who was staying at a Manchester hotel with her friend Rebecca to attend a Harry Potter convention.
Stacey went to the loo and gave birth – she never even knew she was pregnant. Jon, the lead paramedic, arrived within minutes and decided to temporarily call the baby Hermione, after the Potter series.
Rebecca rang Stacey’s partner Tom to tell him he was a dad and everyone burst out laughing when his response to hearing about the delivery of a baby he didn’t even know was on the way was very English: ‘Thanks for letting me know.’
Stacey was clotting, though, and in the ambulance to hospital was losing consciousness, but Jon kept her fluids normal and got her to a ward where she made a full recovery, and went home with the girl, now called Elizabeth Annabelle.
It was wonderful television, a reminder of all the good ambulance crews perform. In just two shifts, they attended 3,429 callouts. Their dedication is humbling.
After a string of episodes up there with the very best in the show’s 10series history, Modern Family took a nosedive this week by focusing yet again on Mitchell and Cameron, the gay couple who endlessly undermine each other or just sit in sullen petulance at perceived insults and slights.
Yes, there is comic value in that, but you always have the feeling that, in real life, they would have parted long ago.
As the show gears up for its final series later this year, perhaps that’s where this is headed – or maybe Jay will die or, and maybe I’m dreaming this, is it possible that Phil might have an affair with his young, beautiful stepmother-in-law Gloria? Now that I would tune in for.