Tristan was a very happy, friendly boy but now he’s struggling to cope

A MOTHER-OF-TWO has told how she she has watched her autistic son go from a ‘happy boy’ to ‘frustrated and distressed’ due to long periods without school.

Alex Danzig Jedrzejewska moved to Dundalk, Co. Louth last year with her two children as she was unable to secure a suitable school place for her son Tristan, seven, in Dublin.

Tristan, who is non-verbal, attends the special needs unit in St Nicholas’s National School in Dundalk. His fiveyear-old brother, Leon, attends the mainstream school. Tristan uses a low-tech visual communication system to communicate his needs but Alex said his development has regressed significantly without school.

Reflecting on 2020, Alex told the

Irish Mail on Sunday: ‘I believe the long period out of school in 2020 was detrimental to the development and wellbeing of both of my children, but it especially affected Tristan.

‘The way I remember him prior to March 2020 is as a quiet, friendly, happy boy, who loves his school and outdoors. Tristan depends on his school not just for his education and social development but also for the routine, predictability, sensory stimulation, motivation and a large majority of all fulfilling interactions. Tristan barely tolerates the weekends and the happiest I ever see him is when his school bus arrives in the morning. He regressed significantly during the first lockdown, despite the fact that we never stopped practising the skills.

‘At some point we had to begin learning to use his picture communication system, which he has been using since he was only three, almost from scratch. He lost motivation to do simple everyday things and developed anxiety, which affected his eating, sleep and overall behaviour.

‘The latest lockdown which followed Christmas holidays made things only worse.’

Ms Danzig said Tristan has been at home for four weeks now and is extremely frustrated, anxious and distressed, which results in very frequent and exhausting meltdowns.

‘He doesn’t cope with demands and constantly pushes me away, something he never did before,’ she admitted. ‘He cries himself to sleep. I have no way of comforting him or explaining what is happening and why, the way I can to my other child. The change to his world seems too much for him and he does not know when he will return to his school, or if at all. Tristan’s sensory seeking behaviours are currently “through the roof” metaphorically and literally.

‘In the last few weeks his love of heights transformed into a constant compulsion to climb and he gets frustrated when he sees me checking to make sure he is safe.’ Alex said she feels ‘helpless, defeated and exhausted’ and that remote learning has been of no benefit to Tristan despite great efforts from his SNAs to support him from afar.

‘The teacher and the SNAs have been outstanding in their efforts to support us. The daily homework arrives printed out, laminated and it’s carefully tailored to Tristan’s level and his interests,’ she revealed. ‘In spite of that Tristan has been only able to do about 5% of all work.’

There was a sense of ‘frustration’ for parents whose hope of a return to special education were dashed last Thursday. She added: ‘These are the parents of children who are not coping, the whole families that are not coping. Not everyone can put themselves in our shoes. On the other hand though, I understand the concerns of the teachers and SNAs.

‘what I don’t understand is the Government’s resistance to grant them priority for vaccination. They are rightly valued as essential workers and should be treated as such.’