WHAT WOMEN WANT
Men buying lingerie gifts at Christmas should certainly look for items that are seductive and sophisticated, but never veer into the overtly sexual — and avoid control underwear at all costs!
December is one of the few times of the year when you’ll find men in women’s lingerie shops. Often looking exquisitely embarrassed, they know they want something beautiful, but can be vague on the practicalities.
For most men, the terminology and sizing involved in women’s underwear might as well be Urdu. Balconette, push-up or plunge bras? Full briefs, thongs or boy-shorts? And that’s not even to mention cup sizes, waist measurements or fabrics. So, read on for some useful lessons in lingerie.
Firstly, remember that a woman’s underwear is another expression of her personal style. So, think about her as an individual: is she a minimalist who prefers clean lines, a flamboyant type who loves colour, a sporty girl who prioritises comfort or a romantic who adores florals and bows? Then take your style cues accordingly.
Generally, underwear breaks down into two categories: pretty or practical. As most women buy themselves practical underwear, giving them a beautiful lingerie set as a Christmas gift is the better option. Gifts should be a luxurious indulgence. Don’t give a woman control underwear as a gift as she may take offence that you are judging her body.
However, pieces that are supportive, stylish and sleek will tick all the boxes. Ask the sales assistant about the fit, fabrics and comfort level of a brand before you buy.
Check out her underwear drawer to confirm her size. Bras are sized with two markers, the cup size, which is given as a letter, A, B, C, D etc and the circumference of their torso, which is a number, 32”, 34”, 36” etc. On many continental brands this may actually be given in centimetres, but the salesperson can convert the sizing. Briefs or knickers are sized either as 10, 12, 14 etc. or as S, M, L etc. and can be high, medium, or low waisted. If you are totally clueless about sizing, take a photo of the labels on her existing underwear, especially newer items.
Don’t pick anything with kinky or fetish undertones. Never veer into costume territory — focus on stylish, elegant styles that she will love rather than fulfilling misplaced sexual fantasies. Remember that there can be a difference between what men find sexy on women and what women perceive as desirable. Watch what she wears, especially what she has worn for special occasions. Choose silk, lace and very fine mercerised cotton as fabrics and styles that are seductive but ultimately sophisticated. In terms of colour, nudes, pinks, black and white are classics.
If bras, basques and suspender belts defeat you, you cannot fail with beautiful silk nightwear. Robes, kimonos, slips and pyjamas will always be cherished, and the sizing is more straightforward. Shopping in person trumps buying online. Go to a shop where staff can advise you. Susan Moylett of Susan Hunter has unrivalled expertise selling beautiful lingerie. She also has a simple set of guidelines:
1. Buy what you like, this means a least someone likes it. That’s a good start.
2. Take a sly photo of the size label if you are buying a gift for someone.
3. No worries if you don’t get it exactly right, it can always be changed. Always ask for a gift receipt.
4. Everyone wears underwear, so in a way it’s an extremely practical gift... adding a twist of luxury makes it extra special.
5. Ask for advice — we have 39 years of experience so really can help.
Other excellent options include Brown Thomas, Arnotts and Peaches and Cream in Dublin, Elegant Undies in Galway, Belle Femme Lingerie in Kilkenny and Marks & Spencer.