How to have a happy child... bring them up the VIKING WAY!
Babies left to sleep outside, school lessons in building bonfires – and broken bones aplenty. An expat mother embraces Scandi parenting
How To Raise A Viking: The Secrets Of Parenting The World’s Happiest Children
Let’s start this review with a parental quiz. Where are babies left alone in their prams outside cafes? Where do teenagers use an app to avoid incest? And where are children invited to ‘intuitively eat’ as many sweets as they like? Answer: the Nordic nations. As Helen Russell explains in How To Raise A Viking, they do things differently in the far north.
In a delicious mix of comic memoir and well-honed reportage, Russell addresses how well-adjusted little citizens are formed in Scandinavia – Denmark, Sweden and Norway – as well as Finland, Iceland and the Faroe Islands, the other Viking haunts.
Russell draws on personal experience. In 2013 she left her job as an editor at Marie Claire and swapped media London for rural Jutland in Denmark so her husband could work at Lego. She chronicled how she adjusted to a country that celebrates Dancing Cow Day in her bestseller The Year of Living Danishly. But that year became a decade, and expat life became more complicated with the arrival first of a son – ‘the redhead’ – and then twins, a girl and a boy. Suddenly Denmark became more than a whimsical stopgap.
There were kindergartens, schools, laws and other parents to navigate.
Getting a child in the first place, Russell explains, is treated with consummate practicality in Scandinavia: single parenthood is a routine choice for many and the IVF process affordable. In the name of research, Russell visits the Cryos sperm bank in Aarhus: along with bacon and slimming jabs, Denmark does a roaring trade in Viking essence. She glances awkwardly at the young men heading into cubicles that are kitted out with virtual-reality porn goggles to give donors a helping hand. They don’t wham-bam in Denmark. Russell reads the literature and discovers that ‘the longer they take to create their sample, the “better the quality”.’
After conception, things become rather 1950s. ‘I learned early on that Danes use fewer needles, tests, exams or any other medical procedures than elsewhere,’ notes Russell. Pregnant with her first child, she is amazed when her midwife comes with an ear trumpet to check for a heartbeat: ‘I had been expecting a scanner, but apparently a Pinard horn worked just fine.’ There are other pre-natal peculiarities. In Denmark the mothers-to-be eat sushi. And in Finland parents receive free ‘baby boxes’ containing mattresses, mittens, bootees and nappies. They also contain complimentary condoms. ‘I think that horse has bolted,’ observes Russell.
Once children are large enough to run around, the big differences emerge. The Nordic childcare system is envied across the globe: the state pays 75% of the cost in Denmark. Economic structures support these policies: taxes are high, but so are salaries, and housing is relatively affordable. Also playing into the model is the Scandinavian notion of Janteloven – or Jante’s Law – in which everyone is considered equal. The flip side to this principle, of course, is that being extraordinary is frowned upon.
The other adjustment for immigrant parents is the staggeringly relaxed attitude to risk. Gunnar Breivik, a Norwegian professor, tells Russell that ‘we have failed as parents if our children haven’t broken any bones by the time they turn 18.’ The idea is that a child should crash and burn and then, theoretically, rise from their mistakes like an emboldened phoenix. Discipline is minimal and guidance is fluid and always in dialogue with the child. Russell receives school notes stating: ‘On Wednesday we build bonfires! Bring daggers!’ She knew she’d ‘passed the point of no return when Googling “best axe for children”
‘She is amazed when her midwife comes carrying an ear trumpet’
‘We have failed if our children haven’t broken any bones by the age of 18’
in a coffee shop while my babies slept outside in their pram’.
A Norwegian friend once told me that in Scandinavia the things you need – housing, energy, childcare – are cheap and the things you want – branded goods, eating out – are expensive. And the maxim is born out in many of Russell’s observations as she explores how consumerism, or lack of it, factors in a Nordic childhood (there is no eBay or Amazon in Denmark).
This is not a rose-tinted advert for the hygge life, but rather a deep dive into the pros and cons of a radically different approach to parenthood. If the generous welfare state and communal sense of trust are obvious positives, the negatives include what Russell calls its ‘digital blind spot’: half of Denmark’s children are daily gamers (Russell’s eldest starts ‘dreaming in Minecraft’).
And then there is the freewheeling attitude to teenage drinking. One Danish anthropologist explains: ‘We toast with them when they are 15 and pick them up at the emergency room after their stomachs are pumped when they are 16.’
Russell’s focus on Denmark is at the expense of the nuanced experiences of other populations in the region. However, this is a well researched study injected with humour and humanity and the author can be exceedingly funny about local norms – in the way that only an outsider can be.
SAUNAS have never been in such hot demand. And there’s a new craze for finding ones with a dramatic view – on top of a mountain, on the shore of a lake or in a forest. The cold snap outside can bite as long as it wants when you’re in a scenic sauna...
HIGHS IN THE DOLOMITES
From the summit of Mount Lagazuoi, the craggy peaks of the Dolomites are on
show in all their glory. Enjoy the panorama from the warmth at Rifugio Lagazuoi’s barrel sauna, which is open to anyone on the slopes. You can also book into the chalet-style Rifugio, located at the start of Alta Badia’s Lagazuoi circuit, a beautiful 7.5km ski run.
How to do it: The sauna costs about €25pp while B&B is from about €150 for a dorm bed or €300 for a double room (rifugiolagazuoi.com).
SCOTLAND’S HOBBIT HOUSE
There’s a hobbit-like air about the sauna at The Treehouses, Lanrick, near Trossachs National Park. Built into the woodland’s undulating floor and with a turf roof, it appears as little more than a small mound – but enter through the secret door and gaze out through a floorto-ceiling window at the woodland beyond. It’s free to use when you stay at one of the five self-catering treehouses, which have log-burning stoves.
How to do it: An hour from Edinburgh or Glasgow, Treehouses for two cost from €575 for two nights (lanricktreehouses. co.uk).
SEA VIEWS IN SPAIN
Just behind Frank Gehry’s incredible El Peix sculpture sits Hotel Arts Barcelona. Swelter away on the 43rd floor of this tower of blue glass and steel as you take in the beachfront. If you really want to spoil yourself, there’s also a two Michelinstarred restaurant.
How to do it: Aer Lingus fly to Barcelona, with flights from €124 return (aerlingus.com). A deluxe room at the Hotel Arts Barcelona costs from €391 per night for two. The sauna is free for anyone booking a spa treatment, otherwise the facilities cost about €45 (hotelartsbarcelona.com).
FINLAND’S FLYING SAUNA
Saunas reach unparalleled heights with this one inside a ski-lift gondola in the resort of Ylläs. Take the stunning 20minute journey to the top of the fell, where a sauna with an outdoor hot tub awaits.
How to do it: The experience costs about €1,500 for a group of 12, who’ll be carried up the mountain in three trips of four (ski.yllas.fi). A chalet for two in Ylläs for a week costs from €1,900, while hotels cost from €225pp per night (yllas.fi). Flights from Dublin to Kittilä,
35km from Ylläs, cost from
€298 return (finnair.com).
GET IN SHAPE IN MANHATTAN
Sweat it out in The Equinox Hotel in Manhattan’s Hudson Yards, the fittest hotel on earth. Guests get access to the fitness and wellness centre, where you can take classes in everything from martial arts to ballet-inspired barre, or swim in the rooftop pool while gazing out at the Hudson River before warming up in barrel saunas.
How to do it: Aer Lingus flights from Dublin to New York JFK cost from €735 return (aerlingus.com). A deluxe king room in The Equinox costs from €649 a night for two (equinox-hotels.com).
HOTTING UP IN WALES
If you’re looking for a Welsh hotspot, then look no further than the woodfired sauna at Fforest in Cardigan Bay, which opens out on to the rolling hills.
How to do it: A two-night break in a selfcatering Hill Shack for eight people costs from €585, with spa access (coldatnight.co.uk). Day visitors can book a two-hour session in winter for €40pp. Irish Ferries go from Dublin to Holyhead for €431 for two and a car (irishferries.com).
NATURE IS THE STAR HERE – WITH THE PANORAMA OF MOUNTAINS
UNDER THE NORTHERN LIGHTS
The fjordside location of Norway’s Malangen Resort, 90 minutes from Tromsø, is ideally placed to see the aurora borealis. If you’re lucky, you might spot the light show from the sauna. Take husky safaris through the Arctic wilderness before returning to warmth and fabulous views.
How to do it: You can stay at Malangen Resort in a twin room for €170 a night or in a waterfront cabin for €296 for two a night (malangenresort.com). Flights from Dublin to Tromsø, just over an hour from Malangen Resort, cost from €440 return (norwegian.com).
SWISH IN SWITZERLAND
You need deep pockets to stay at the Burgenstock Resort on a mountain ridge by Lake Lucerne, reached by a restored 1888 funicular, but if you make it there you can appreciate the view from not one but four saunas. There are spectacular views from the glass-walled restaurants and the swish bedrooms, some with baths next to floor-to-ceiling windows. How to do it: B&B doubles cost from €1,670 a night (burgenstockresort.com). Fly to Zurich with Aer Lingus from €196 return (aerlingus.com).
BANISH THE CORNISH CHILLS
When the sea whips up a storm on the Cornish coast, cosy up in Carbis Bay Hotel’s seafront sauna. It’s open all year round with a heated outdoor pool and beach-view hot tub. There’s also access to the South West Coast Path, with walks to St Ives in 25 minutes. Stay in a beachside retreat or in the main house, where you can nip to the spa in your dressing gown.
How to do it: B&B doubles from €295. Spa use is complimentary for guests; non-residents can pay €60 for a four-hour pass (carbisbayhotel.co.uk).
NIGHT SWEATS IN BRUSSELS
Sweat it out at the sauna in The Hotel Brussels, a high-rise in the Avenue Louise area. Located on the 23rd floor, it commands superb views of the city’s skyline. If you want to see the sights up close, it’s just a 15-minute walk to the Grand Place. The sauna is also open in the evenings. How to do it: B&B doubles from €185 a night include entry to the urban spa (thehotel-brussels.be). Flights from Dublin to Brussels with Aer Lingus cost from €280 return.
WINTER WONDERLAND
Gaze out at the winter wonderland of Austria’s Leogang Mountains from Mama Thresl’s sauna. Outside is a world of winter sports, amid the Saalbach Hinterglemm Leogang Fieberbrunn ski area, reached from the cable car near the hotel. Inside, the hotel is all wood and stone, plus fun elements such as swinging seats in the bar.
How to do it: Doubles from about €205, with sauna entry at €10 (mama-thresl. com). Fly to Innsbruck from €385 with Lufthansa (lufthansa.com).
AT THE END OF THE EARTH
Flying to New Zealand for a sauna sounds a bit of a stretch… until you see the panorama of lakes and mountains framed by the windows of the Aro Ha Wellness Retreat, overlooking Lake Wakatipu in the Southern Alps. There are 20 strippedback rooms, but nature is the star here – with hikes, yoga and vegetarian food. How to do it: A six-day retreat with meals and classes costs from €3,965 (aroha.com). Emirates has returns to Christchurch from €2,533 (emirates.com).