Niamh Walsh’s Manifesto
The pleasure seekers and their Battle of the Bulge
NOW, The Pleasure Boys wouldn’t be my cup of tea – but have we lost all sense of live and let live?
Can’t a room full of women ogle some deliciously handsome – albeit totally unclothed – men and not be social media tarred and feathered for their fun?
‘Ban This Filth’ roared one particularly incensed headline while ‘Ban the Boo-Hoo Brigade’ admonished another, amidst various ‘down with this sort of thing’ calls from the Outrage Contingent.
‘Down with their pants,’ retorted the undeterred pleasure seekers;
and so this modern-day Battle of the Bulge raged on and on and on this week.
Yes, I accept that gyrating on stage as a naked man hovers over you with a bottle of baby oil could be considered stretching the boundaries of socially acceptable behaviour, but let those who have never acted out on a drunken night cast the first stone; or in this case, toss the first plastic novelty item.
And yes, providing table service with your todger on show may be against the law in several countries. But aren’t boundaries there to be stretched?
Aren’t a troupe of very good-looking naked fellas who willingly take off every single article of attire in return for money entitled to make a living too?
Their body, their choice.
And it seems I am not alone in pitching for The Pleasure Boys. By all accounts, interest in tickets for upcoming events is being whipped up quicker than whipped cream comes off a tanned, toned chest.
And the Boys may even be Dublin-bound soon.
So while I did say that they would not be my personal cup of tea, I may be duty-bound to take in a Pleasure Boys performance. Not for me, you understand. But for you, the reader!
Guess the claimant was out of her tree
OUR courts of justice have borne witness to all sorts of shenanigans.
However, even the most esteemed and experienced of judges would likely have been dumbstruck by the Christmas miracle occurring before their very eyes... in February.
This curious case of spontaneous recovery came about after a woman claimed to have suffered ‘disabling’ injuries in a car accident that left her unable to work for over five years proved capable of carrying out a herculean task.
Kamila Grabska (36), told the High Court sitting in Limerick that a car crash left her in constant pain in her back, neck and thoracic spine and is unable to lift groceries or play with her children. Such was the debilitating nature of Ms Grabska’s injuries that she asked the court for damages of €760,383.
But the brakes were put on her claim when defence barristers furnished the court with evidence of a very able Kamila winning a Christmas tree-throwing competition.
Yes, your eyes do not deceive – she was able to fling a full-grown Christmas tree with such proficiency that she was named Best Tree Thrower.
Needless to say her case was chucked out quicker than a de-decorated spruce on January 6.
When a broadcaster becomes the drama
IF there is any positivity to be gleaned from the total and utter mountain-of-manure show that is the on-going debacle of RTÉ, it’s that they have reams and reams of content for future episodes of Reeling in the Years.
Given the cataclysmic financial meltdown Montrose is facing, they can factor in future savings for their popular look-back-in-time show. Generally, RTÉ has to fork out funds to international broadcasters to use footage. But with RTÉ itself being the only show in town, they’ll only need to dig out the home videos.
They’ll have plenty of blockbuster viewing for future generations to gawp at aghast and see where it all went so very wrong.
In adding Barbie, we veer off course
SO Barbie, the movie is being added to the Leaving Certificate English course.
The summer film which starred Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling is, by some accounts, set to be on the curriculum from 2026.
DCU School of English Assistant Professor Dr Ellen Howley denied claims Barbie would ‘dumb down’ the curriculum. ‘I don’t think Barbie dumbs down the curriculum by the fact that it’s there. You’re asking students to think in a particular way about film and then think about it in relation to another text.’
Now call me Beg-to-Differ Barbie but the only lessons to be learned from the movie are that no boy, no matter how pretty, can pull off peroxide-blonde hair; denimon-denim can work if appropriately accessorised; and marketing geniuses really do rule the world. But the most salient lesson is that time is far too precious.
Critics have called it a feminist tour de force – but why then is the standout performance that of Ryan
Gosling as
Ken?
Surely in a country of poets and writers who are the envy of the Western world, and hail from an island that literally has the nickname ‘The Isle of Saints and Scholars’ – we can come up with some more homegrown material that is worth studying.
Or stick to the tried and tested options, rather than chasing faddish relevance to engage young people, who need to be prepared for the way the world is – rather than the way some want the world to be.
Talk about having poor Social skills...
ON the subject of performing a public service, the Social Democrats seem to have lost the run of themselves. In case you missed it at their annual conference last week the party of socialists unveiled their manifesto with slogan-emblazoned mugs that read Sex, Drugs, Public Service.
To borrow a phrase from the singer Meatloaf. I suppose ‘two out of three ain’t bad.’