A Christmas Tale

There was a loud crash,

Then silence for a minute. When I looked out my window, I saw a sleigh and sitting in it, Up at the front,

Was an old man with a beard, In a black Gortex jacket, Which on reflection, sure was weird.

My first thought, Was it Santa? If it was , he was mixed up. Christmas was a month away And then this other stuff.

No sign of a red suit,

Just sitting dressed in Black With a big ‘L’ plate

Stuck on the middle of his back. Then I saw a sign

Tied also to the sleigh.

I couldn’t read it in the dark. T’was then I shouted ‘Hey’. They were lucky the roof was flat, He’d landed on the garage. He knelt down beside the sleigh To check the under carriage. Six reindeer stood in pairs, Wearing high vis vests.

This was a requirement,

For any reindeer tests.

All this I uncovered,

When I went out on the roof, Nearly falling over,

When glanced by a hoof, Startled, when I shouted

But now I read the sign, ‘Reindeer in training’,

In grounds that were mine! Nicolas, he called himself

As he stuck out his hand, Thanking me sincerely

For this fine place to land.

‘I take them out every year. They need to pull together. ‘Pull like a dog’, he laughed,

In all kinds of weather.

‘But this bunch are just brutal, They’re all over the place, Instead of heading from The Pole, They race to outer space.

I wonder if you’d help me? They might listen to your voice We could head off ‘round Ireland. We’d need to do it twice.

I have to clock the air miles, For them to pass this test.

So how about it son?

Will you heed my request?’

It’s not often one gets offered, A night amongst the stars. ‘Wait ‘ till I tell the lads, Beats driving ‘round in cars!’

Well what a trip it was, Over Dublin, Cork and Kerry, Limerick, Galway, Sligo And straight up to Derry, Travelling at such speed On our highway in the sky. If I said it wasn’t scary, I suppose I’d tell a lie. We landed with a clatter, This time on my front lawn.

He thanked me most sincerely, As I tried not to yawn.

I signed up his papers,

To say the miles were done. Sure t’was grand for all involved ‘Thanks again my son’.

I watched as they flew off, Rudolph’s nose their only light. I waited ‘ til it disappeared, Into the night.