KOREAN WEDDINGS – WHERE GUESTS NOT THE HAPPY COUPLE COME FIRST
WHEN I was in Korea, a colleague invited all of us to her wedding which was to take place the following month.
A shotgun wedding? No, just one of the many Korean wedding customs that bare a stark contrast to weddings at home. Koreans don’t waste time - if they’re given it. The intense working culture makes even the biggest of occasions a second priority.
Despite the large Christian population, most people don’t get married in a church. Instead they opt for wedding halls.
These are venues of various sizes that cover all aspects of the big day. This particular couple were both Catholics and held a private blessing ceremony a few days before the wedding. The guests are not forced to endure long sermons, whether they are Christian or not.
This particular wedding hall was in Gangnam, a metropolitan region of Seoul. Before we entered the hall, we had to sign our names in the guest book and deposit our white enveloped gifts into the box.
Cash is the only acceptable form of gift, and the amount depends on how closely acquainted you are with the couple or their parents. No need to quarrel with your plus one here; the rules are set in stone.
The groom welcomed all the guests they entered the wedding hall while those of us who knew the bride had to go upstairs to her special bridal room, where she sat, glowing in fabulous white. She greeted everyone and posed for countless photographs and selfies.
When we got back downstairs, we were surprised to see people already helping themselves to the buffet.
Not wanting to miss out, we joined them and helped ourselves to some of our favourite Korean delicacies. However, no sooner had we sat down when the place stood up. The bride and groom emerged and walked up the aisle together behind their mothers who were both wearing the traditional Korean dress.
After the exchanging of rings, the couple read their specially prepared speeches and drank some rice wine. A small cake was brought out with two candles for them to blow out. Next thing we knew, they were strolling down the aisle as husband and wife.
Everyone returned to the buffet to resume eating and drinking. The waiters provided each table with bottles of beer and Soju, a clear Korean liquor, but not enough to redden the face of any uncle.
The couple disappeared for a few minutes, and returned dressed in normal clothes. I doubt they had a chance to get much food, as the waiters were pretty brisk in clearing everything up: they had another wedding booked for the afternoon.
As we made our way out of the wedding hall, the groom handed out everyone a special gift of an ornamental plate as a way of thanking us for coming. Then it was back out onto the busy streets of Gangnam. The marriage may well last a lifetime but it’s Saturday and the guests have other places to be.