‘Manychildren needtoseethatwe havehope...’
We must ask what all this is like for the child. Parents need to talk with their children.
WHILE it’s easier for adults to rationalise what’s happening regarding COVID-19, it can be difficult for children, many of whom are struggling to cope with the sudden change in routine.
Child and adolescence psychotherapist Edel Lawlor specialises in play therapy, and she says, now more than ever, children are looking for understanding, guidance and a sense of normality in what are uncertain times.
Edel, who runs the Expressive Play Therapy and Training Centre in Kilflynn, has had to close because of COVID-19 precautions, but she is keeping up contact with children and adults through the centre’s Facebook page, where she hosts online video tutorials to help children understand the current climate of anxiety and fear.
“As adults, if we’re feeling all this anxiety, can you imagine what kids are feeling? We don’t know what is happening right now so, for the time being, I just want to try and help where I can,” Edel said.
Edel outlines that because of the sudden closures to schools and businesses, there was no preparation for adults or children.
“At first when the children learned the schools were closing they were excited, but when the reality hit and they started to ask questions that parents couldn’t answer, it changed. Lots of parents are looking really stressed.
“I’m a parent myself and I’m watching a lot of news. This stress shows on our faces and children pick up on this. We need to be mindful that children are listening, and while they do need to hear some of it, they don’t need to hear all of it.”
Our choice of language may also be causing panic in kids, and the medical view that children are ‘carriers’ of the virus is being absorbed by some children.
“They’re asking, ‘is this my fault?’ Or ‘is there something I’ve done wrong?’ We need to be mindful of words like this. Kids are getting bored and are using extra screen time.
“This is positive in one sense as it allows them connect with friends, but it’s also about limiting the overuse of screens. Family meal times are now more important than ever.
“Sitting down to eat and talk with children is a chance to validate a child’s feelings.”
In her online videos, Edel explains to kids that there are now more ‘superheroes’ in the world than ever before – doctors, nurses, scientists and emergency teams – fighting the virus. Edel says even the sight of dividing screens in shops can ignite social anxiety in children. She wants parents to combine study, play time, screen time and exercise as a way of coping with self-isolation.
She insists that there are plenty of positive things parents can do to keep children occupied, but this is more difficult if adults are stressed.
“We must ask what this is like for the child. Parents must mention to the children the things that people are doing for our safety; it’s about identifying things they are seeing and talking about them because children tend to internalise a lot of what they see.
“Children are going to first look at us, as adults, to see how we’re coping. That’s why it’s important to say and do the right thing to make them feel assured. Again, it’s about adults regulating themselves and drawing up a routine for children.
“Also, when the children are in bed at night, it’s very important for adults to recharge their own batteries and look after their mental health. Children need to see that we have hope.”
With restrictions remaining in place, even greater reserves of self-control, routine and innovation are needed to cope with isolation.
Edel is available for calls between 9:30am and 11:30am (087 3836456). Edel will try and chat with as many parents as possible in this time-frame.
Children can also visit the Expressive Play Centre’s Facebook page to watch Edel’s online videos, which are designed to help them understand.