Instead of focusing on differences, we could just make a difference

MARCH bore witness to World Down Syndrome’s Day and in all I read, saw and heard, there was one story that had particular resonance for me.

It came from a woman whose son has Down Syndrome. He attends mainstream education and when she dropped him to school on World Down Syndrome Day, she saw that his classmates were each wearing odd socks to highlight how the things that make us different actually make us great.

The odd sock initiative has its roots in the fact that chromosomes are shaped like socks and people with Down Syndrome are born with an extra chromosome; that all-important equation that makes them “different”.

But what does ‘different’ really mean? I mean, I know no one like me. I have friends who like doing the same things as me, others who laugh at the same jokes as me and those who own the same values as me. Yet we are all very different. We are not the same. In fact, I don’t think I would like to meet myself in someone else – she might be a bit hard to take.

That said, and in the full knowledge of contradicting myself, we are all the same too. At our core we are the same. We know what love is, and we know what heartbreak is. We feel lonely, isolated and we dread exclusion. We have insecurities and vulnerabilities. We want to be accepted and are wary of rejection. We desire respect and search for connection. We know happiness and feel sadness. We get disappointed, disillusioned, downtrodden but still we get giddy and silly and nonsensical. We know fear, anger, envy and frustration yet experience laughter, intimacy, tenderness and kindness.

None of those emotions are strange to us; none of their impact unknown to us. The only difference in our emotions is their timing. Some people’s lives are on an upward trajectory while others might be desperately bleak. The accompanying emotions to those positions are what divides us; our not feeling the same way at the same time to each other.

Except for when we do.

Ireland’s recent rugby triumph had us all elated while the recent snowstorms had us all bemused. In extreme happiness we reach for each other and in extreme sadness we reach for each other too; that’s what makes those times special, special because right at that moment two different people are feeling the exactly same way.

When I am in the company of a person with Downs Syndrome or when I am in the company of someone with autism or any friend with special needs, one thing is the same – I am in the company of truth, integrity, fun and laughter. They listen without judgement, they achieve without apology and they love without agenda.

We all come in different packages with different wrappings. Yet we all own the same gift of our person. We won’t suit everyone, and everyone won’t suit us but instead of focusing on our differences, can we not just make a difference instead?