A newly found gratitude for life
MARY TERESA ARMSTRONG TALKS TO JESSICA FARRY ABOUT DEALING WITH A TERMINAL DIAGNOSIS, WHAT SHE HAS LEARNED, THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY TIME AND HOW SHE STILL WANTS TO HELP OTHERS WHERE SHE CAN.
WHEN you hear Mary Teresa Armstrong’ s story, you might think she has enough on her plate. She has a brain tumour that cannot be removed. Her diagnosis is a terminal one, but she is still living everyday to the full est.
With that, she still wants to help people. Originally from Rinbane, Ballinacarrow, Mary has penned a song ‘If Only’ to raise funds for Pieta House.
The annual Darkness Into Light walk, which is a vital fundraiser for Pieta House, has been postponed as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Mary explained: “The amount of suicides at home and here is just crazy. Life is so precious you fight so hard. Me personally, I’ve fought so hard to hold on to my life. Some people are in such a dark place, I’m not blaming them, I can’t imagine what an awful, dark, isolated place that must be.
“In the height of my illness I never felt alone or angry, I never felt that god did this to me so I can’t imagine how awful it must be for people. My sister Bernie lives in Ballymote, she helped organise Darkness Into Light in Ballymote. This year it’s not going to happen. I had time and I just wrote it.
“I wrote it, and I got a friend Stuart Lawlor to do the piano and then Dave McGinley recorded it. It wasn’t me on my own. They all helped.”
The mother of two received her terminal diagnosis in 2018.
Mary moved to Dublin in 1999 to train to be a nurse. She qualified and started working in Tallaght Hospital, before moving to Drogheda.
Her husband is a detective, and with two daughters who are now aged nine and five, life was hectic.
“I was working and I was having symptoms, not of a brain tumour. I was feeling dizzy and stuff but I was so busy with two kids, we were both working full-time to pay a mortgage. Up here in Ashbourne it’s nearly Dublin prices for a mortgage. Not that I didn’t have time, in the back of my head I was thinking it wasn’t that serious, until it got to that point.
“I’m lucky enough that the guys I worked with in the Mater private saw the warning signs straight away and sent me for an MRI. That was it. I was diagnosed on the spot. They wouldn’t let me drive home or anything.”
It all happened very quickly. Before Mary and her family knew, she was admitted to Beaumont Hospital and underwent surgery.
“They were only able to debulk the tumour because it’s too close to the spinal chord, it was too risky. I still have the tumour, they can’t go in any further. I had radiotherapy and I had chemotherapy but there’s nothing else they can do.”
Being told the heartbreaking news that she had a tumour was shocking for Mary, but like all parents, her children were her priority.
They were unable to visit her in the Intensive Care Unit or the High Dependency Unit, which made the whole ordeal that bit harder to cope with.
“Yeah it was shocking. When it happens you, you’re in it. You just get on with it. I was more concerned about the kids. They were devastated because I had the surgery pretty quick and they weren’t allowed in to see me.
“That was tough on them. We’re so lucky with phones. I did sneak them in a couple of times. I recovered pretty quick. I’m very strong-willed and I just wanted to get home. I knew that when I got home it would be easier because they would be able to see me. It’s terminal but I don’t believe that.”
Mary’s life has changed dramatically since 2018. She is no longer able to work. She is also unable to drive as she suffers from seizures as a result of the location of the tumour.
But, she doesn’t let it all get on top of her. She is grateful to be alive and grateful to have the chance to make the most of every day.
“I’m able to get up. Most people if they saw me wouldn’t know I was sick. My hair has grown back, I did lose it. It’s a full head of hair but as the girls call it, it’s a ‘ boy cut’.
“We know what to do if I have a seizure. My oldest girl even knows what to do. She rings my sister and my sister rings 999 so it’s all planned if it gets serious. But it hasn’t. Pain is my main issue but that’s still bearable. There’s worse.”
It’s a sort of ‘new normal’ for Mary, her husband and their two children. She feels that life