Unlike him, I’m no Get Up And Goer – more a a Lie On The Coucher

THE way I see it, the world is divided up into two types of people: The Get Up And Goers and the Lie On the Couchers. You can’t be both. I am the latter and would quite happily do nothing forever. Lying on the couch, doing nothing is actually my favourite past time in the whole world. I don’t buy into that whole spiel of doing exercise makes you feel better – so does a glass of wine and a nice bit of cheese. And if mooching on the couch makes me feel good then surely I should be allowed do it... as much as possible.

Himself, being from the Get Up And Goers camp has other ideas. He thinks I’m lazy. He might be right but I don’t really care. He thinks I should be spending every minute of my day doing something useful or energetic like cutting the grass or going for a bike ride, neither of which are ever going to happen.

He doesn’t have an ‘off ’ button whereas I’m not quite sure if I have an ‘on’ Button. Weekends are the worst. He’ll wake up bright and breezy wanting to know what the plan is for the day. Just listening to him being all energetic and gung ho puts me in bad mood.

‘ Well I’m staying here for at least another hour if not two,’ I tell him, snuggling back under the duvet. ‘ What?’ he says, outraged. ‘ You can’t. It’s a beautiful day outside. We have to make the most of it.’ And with that he whips back the curtains and opens the windows so that even if the sunlight doesn’t keep me awake the raucous chorus of birds in the garden will do the job.

As if that’s not bad enough, once he has me up he starts planning activities. This will be before I’ve even had a cup of tea. ‘So what will it be – a bike ride or a long walk on the beach. Or maybe if we’re quick we can do both.’

The Youngest looks appalled. ‘ Why can’t we do nothing?’ That’s my girl. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Himself looks wounded. ‘Because we HAVE to do something. We can’t just sit around doing NOTHING. That would be a waste of a day.’

We give in because it’s easier and because we know we’re never going to win. He’ll just nag away at us till we eventually give in so it’s best to get it over with. Myself and the Youngest opt for the beach instead of the bike in the hope we’ll stop off for coffee and cake along the way.

Himself strides along taking great gulps of fresh air and waxing lyrical about the myriad benefits of sea air. We trudge behind him pulling faces behind his back. ‘Now.’ he says triumphantly. ‘Bet you feel much better,’ after we’ve walked the length of the beach.

Secretly we do. The Youngest has rosy cheeks and I feel more awake but to admit this to Himself would mean the death knell for any more lazy days at home. ‘ Yeah, Yeah Yeah are you buying us coffee and cake now?’ I can feel the couch calling me already.

HE STRIDES ALONG, WAXING LYRICAL ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF SEA AIR. WE TRUDGE BEHIND HIM PULLING FACES BEHIND HIS BACK