Standing ovation for ladies at launch of new booklet
FORMER residents of Wexford Women’s Refuge received a standing ovation at the launch of a booklet in Wexford Library after they stood up and publicly declared themselves to be survivors of domestic abuse.
‘Hello, I’m Ethel. I am a survivor, a service user and a former resident. I arrived at the refuge totally desperate, confused and broken’, said one of seven women who tell their stories in the booklet ‘Surviving the Darkness’ which was created under the auspices of Wexford Women’s Refuge and funded and supported by Wexford County Council’s Artist in the Community Scheme.
After taking part in a 12-week personal development programme aimed at women who had left violent and abusive relationships, they seized the opportunity to go one step further and write about their experiences, hoping to help and inspire others who are suffering in silence.
Working with the writer and facilitator Sylvia Cullen, the women participated in creative writing workshops to help them get their stories down on paper, an exercise that required great inner courage.
The booklet which was officially launched by the leading feminist and academic Ailbhe Smyth, will be available free of charge in GP surgeries, community centres, garda stations, libraries and courthouses etc.
Ms. Smyth said the stories reveal ‘real life, what really happens and what can happen in a woman’s life’ in a way that helps us understand just how desperate and how dreadful the experience of domestic violence is for those who suffer it and also to understand how a woman can begin to emerge from that dark place, working alongside other women.
‘These stories are not fiction. They’re real experiences You’re speaking and writing out of a terrible darkness, out of no fault of your own at all, because that darkness is in our society and in our world’, she told the writers , adding that the issue of violence by men towards women and children in relationships is ‘absolutely huge’.
‘It’s never about one woman fighting this on her own. It’s about a whole community standing up. We have an obligation, a duty and a responsibility to fight it. We must root it out. This has to stop. We have to stop it’, said Ms. Smith who has been associated with the women’s movement in Ireland since the late 1970’s. ‘You think you know the awful deeds that are done to women and yet taking up this book, I was bowled over. I was in tears. Why?. Because it’s terrible. It’s terrible that any human being would be treated like this. It’s unforgiveable and unpardonable. I really admire the seven women who wrote their stories because it is so difficult, but you did it. My admiration knows no bounds. I think you’re brave and I think you’re beautiful’, said Ms. Smith, adding that she hoped every single TD and Senator would read the book.
‘I think I’ve heard it all but reading these wonderfully courageous accounts I realise I haven’t heard it all. I haven’t heard the half of it’.
‘What is so uplifting is the light of hope that shines through every one of the stories’.
Ethel said she didn’t realise the magnitude of the abuse she suffered and how it had affected every aspect of her life and the lives of her children. ‘The deepest scars are the ones you don’t see. The invisible wounds take the longest to heal’.
‘We must protect our women and children and create the atmosphere in which women will come forward’, she said.
Another former resident Shirley said she thought it was normal to be spoken to and treated in an abusive and controlling manner but with the support of the refuge, she found the strength to leave. ‘They didn’t judge me or blame me’, she said.
Urging others to avail of support she added: ‘Ask for help - your voice will save you’ and she read out a ‘Bill of Rights’ for women including ‘You have the right to safe. You have the right to put yourself first. You have the right to love and be loved. You have the right to grow and change and this includes changing your mind.’
‘By the time I found the strength to contact the Women’s Refuge I was already lost to myself. I was taken aback by the support I received’, said another speaker who thanked Sylvia Cullen ‘for the opportunity to so something so amazing’.
‘IT can happen to any one of us regardless of age. I’m only 25’, said another of the ‘Surviving the Darkness’ writers who addressed the attendance.
Refuge manager Pauline Ennis said staff of the service were delighted to be able to support the women in their transformation. ‘What we ended up with was something we never imagined.’
‘We are very proud to be here today. It’s a bit scary for people. It’s a sensitive issue. This is about women who had no voice’.
Ms. Ennis thanked the Cornmarket Project for assistance in bringing the project to the design stage.
I REALLY ADMIRE THE SEVEN WOMEN WHO WROTE THEIR STORIES BECAUSE IT IS SO DIFFICULT. I THINK YOU’RE BRAVE AND I THINK YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL