Being a mammy is more than just one job, it’s a load ofthem rolled into one

FOR many years I defined myself largely by what I worked at. When people asked me what did I do for a living, I told them proudly that I was a reporter. I only used the term ‘Journalist’ when I was really bull **** ing somebody.

The reality of the job was a lot less glamorous than it sounded. Days and nights were mostly spent covering district courts and local council meetings. Then during the summer months you covered agricultural shows and summer fairs. Still, as unsexy as the actual job was, it never left me short of something to talk about and it also taught me to hold my own with just about anyone.

Having more or less given it up to rear children and keep my house clean (I might be a bit lacking on the latter front), I find I’m a much less interesting person to other people these days. On a recent night out someone asked the question what did I do. I had to actually think for a few seconds before I responded.

What do I do? I don’t think there is a proper job title for what I and thousands other Irish women like me do every day and relax I’m not looking for a medal. But how do you describe the hordes of women who stay at home to mind their children, clean toilets, hang out washing, make dinners and ferry kids to and from activities? It isn’t one job is it? It’s a whole host of jobs all bunged in together. If you were a civil servant, you’d say your employer was breaking every rule in the book. If you were a civil servant you’d get bloody holiday pay and tea breaks!

Anyway I eventually replied, ‘I’m a homemaker’ to which Himself nearly choked on his Heineken, earning a dig in the process. The woman I was talking to looked slightly baffled, then bored before looking for someone more interesting to talk to.

I was ripping. The cheek of her! For all she knew I could have had lots of interesting comments to make. Just because I don’t sit in an office 9 – 5, doesn’t mean I’m not interesting or funny or good company….does it?

‘Wouldn’t you think in this day and age, that we’d be done with all that bigoted crap? The worst type of sexism always comes from your own sex,’ I said disgustedly to Himself. ‘I’ve plenty of interesting things to say for myself. They’d a great discussion on Maura and Daithi about money management the other day.’

‘Well you obviously didn’t take their advice judging by the credit card statement!’ he remarked before starting to laugh again. ‘Where did you come up with Homemaker anyway?’

‘Well, that’s what I am isn’t it? I make a home.’

‘So that’s what you do all day!’

I EVENTUALLY REPLIED, ‘I’M A HOMEMAKER’ TO WHICH HIMSELF NEARLY CHOKED ON HIS HEINEKEN, EARNING A DIG IN THE PROCESS