Mourners coping with funeral rules
Wexford Funeral Undertaker Paddy Mulligan believes the guidelines governing funerals during the coronavirus crisis may have to become more stringent to be effective in preventing transmission of the illness.
HSE guidelines limit the number of people in a church to 100 at any one time but people need to be six feet apart from each other and that’s not really happening, he said. Nor is it possible in smaller rural churches.
Bereaved families are taking the new regulations on board and public death notices are now including the caution that attendance at the funeral service is restricted to close family and friends only.
A link to a condolence page is also included, allowing people to express sympathy from a safe distance online.
‘People can also send a text or an email or if you know the family well enough, you can make a quick phone call. Or you can send a sympathy card or a Mass card’, said Paddy, who has directed a number of access-limited funerals since the coronavirus restrictions came in.
‘The funeral service is really for family only now and if even at that, if people can’t maintain a distance and take precautions, I can see the Government stepping in and directing that funerals go directly to the cemetery or crematorium, if things get worse’, said Paddy.
‘It’s dangerous for people to congregate, especially if it’s in a confined space. They are supposed to be keeping six feet apart. That may be possible in a big church but not in a small church. In small churches, people are very confined.’
The Wexford funeral director said people are definitely not shaking hands at funerals anymore and are keeping a reasonable distance.
‘Sometimes, the tendency is to automatically go to shake someone’s hand, especially if you know them well but you have to be conscious and to stand back’, he said.
‘Even with family members, one person could have it and pass it on to another, you don’t know.’
‘For the future, people will have to be very careful about attending funerals. They will have to look out for the death notices. The family may want to be on their own and everyone should respect the their wishes’.
‘The government may have to take a look at allowing a smaller number of people than 100. There is a chance that if it gets worse, the government may bring in an order that funerals go straight to the cemetery.’
‘If people have a wake at the house, they have to let a small number of people in at a time and make sure to have hand sanitiser at the house’, said Paddy.
Some families have made announcements to the fact that they plan to hold a memorial service for their loved one after the current health emergency has passed.
Paddy said funeral directors received guidelines from the HSE and the Irish Association of Funeral Directors.
There is specific advice for dealing with the funerals of those who have contracted Covid-19, with instructions to wear protective suits, masks and gloves and to organise a burial or cremation as quickly as possible.
‘In all fairness, at the funerals we have had, people have been conscious of all the guidelines. There is a lot of advice out there about not shaking hands and refraining from personal contact and people are listening to it’, said Paddy.
‘We have a notice at the funeral home advising no close contact and no hand shaking’.
‘Wakes in funeral homes will have to go, without a doubt. Funeral homes are not big places and you can’t allow people in, it’s as simple as that. You can have the immediate family in for a viewing, that is possible, but not open visiting. I reckon that will be restricted’, he said.
‘People like ourselves are in the frontline, including ambulance crews, hospital staff and carers.’
Wexford parish administrator Fr. Aodhán Marken said people are finding the guidelines difficult because of the lack of closeness but they are very cooperative and are spreading out in the church.
‘The family all stand together and the other mourners, including friends and neighbours are standing at the back. It’s difficult because it’s a very tactile time and people want to be shaking hands and hugging but families are very understanding. It’s a whole new norm’, he said.
‘We are blessed in Bride Street Church in that we have the radio broadcast and people can listen to the Mass on 106Fm.’
More people can attend burials as the 500 limit on outdoor gathering applies and a small number of additional mourners are going to the graveyard.
‘As a country, we do funerals well and keeping your distance at a time like this doesn’t come easy. We have a notice in the church entrance advising people that it’s for the health and safety of the families.’
Fr. Marken said he would be concerned that if people don’t adhere to the restrictions, that the government would step in and say, no more funerals, but so far, in his experience, people are complying.
At funeral Masses last week, Fr. Marken acknowledged the difficulty facing mourners and publicly thanked the bereaved families for their understanding and co-operation.
He said people were finding it difficult that they couldn’t be in the church with them and were thinking of them.
Two of the recent funerals, for wellknown Wexford town residents, would ordinarily have filled the church but people listened to the guidelines and stayed away.
Fr. Marken said the parish will consider offering memorial masses for deceased members of the community when the coronavirus crisis has passed.
‘Even for us, the clergy, going to people’s homes when someone has died, it’s normal to shake hands and offer a hug but now we have to stand back. It’s sad that it has come to that’, he said.
‘IT’S NORMAL TO SHAKE HANDS AND OFFER A HUG BUT NOW WE HAVE TO STAND BACK’.