Boris needs to throw the DUP under the bus

WE REALLY should have known better. Have we learned nothing over the past three tortuous years? Do we not know by now that we should never, ever allow ourselves to even begin to get our hopes up on anything to do with Brexit?

But get our hopes up we did. When Taoiseach Leo Varadkar met with prime minister Boris Johnson for private talks last week, we knew the Fine Gael leader was walking into the last chance saloon. Time was ticking, if no progress was to come out of this meeting, we might as well have just packed up and headed for the hills.

But progress was made, or so it seemed anyway. Varadkar’s demeanour afterwards was one of cautious optimism, he hinted that there was a pathway forward to talks that might result in a deal before the October 31 deadline. Boris Johnson said absolutely nothing after the meeting, which for him was an achievement in itself, so we knew things were getting serious.

Our optimism carried into Friday, when the EU’s chief negotiator Michel Barnier gave the green light for intensive talks to begin over the weekend. Finally, we were on the road to somewhere, anywhere at least.

But, but, but! We really are a silly bunch! Did we not see it? Despite the positive vibes coming out of Leinster House and 10 Downing St and Brussels, despite the leaks saying that Johnson was willing to concede that Northern Ireland should have a unique customs arrangement, despite further leaks suggesting that the penny had finally dropped with Boris regarding the very real threat of violence in Northern Ireland in the event of No Deal, despite all this, we failed to notice the giant elephant in the room that is the DUP.

(I hate using that phrase, elephant in the room, as by all accounts elephants are a decent bunch, the DUP are an altogether different animal).

When the inevitable news broke on Monday that the DUP’s opposition to the current deal on the table was hardening, we all threw our eyes to heaven and said ‘well of course it is’. Was it ever going to be any other way?

The moment it became clear that the UK government was willing to treat Northern Ireland differently, this deal was dead in the water, or a ditch, whichever you are having. And all because of the DUP.

Never mind that the DUP risks sending the Northern Ireland economy into a tailspin in the event of a No Deal, the risk of a return of paramilitary violence on this island in the event of a hard border being reintroduced is very, very real. But the DUP is fine with that, so long as Northern Ireland is treated the same way as England. ‘Are we being treated the same as England? No, we are not. Therefore, if we are not being treated the same as England, then we are not going to accept it,’ declared the DUP’s Jim Shannon last weekend.

Well, I have news for you Jim, and Arlene and Nigel and Sammy and the rest of you sorry lot. Northern Ireland is not the same as England. Never has been, never will be, for a multitude of reasons. Reasons that shouldn’t have to be spelt out.

You would almost feel sorry for the UK government. Leave aside the tangible suspicion that Boris doesn’t actually want a deal and imagine countless cabinet meetings in Downing Street where they try and find some sort of a solution to bring to Brussels that might, just might, get them out of this mess. Just when they think they have something to work on, someone will put up their hand and say ‘sorry, aren’t you forgetting about the DUP? They’ll never go for that.’ And it is back to square one.

The DUP are the runt of the litter that has developed into Boris Johnson’s problem child. The fear is that this problem child will throw their toys out the pram no matter what daddy suggests. And we will suffer the very real consequences.

You see, the DUP are not a normal political party. There is nothing normal about a Northern Ireland political party spending a significant but unspecified sum of money advertising false information in London’s largest freesheet newspaper (the Metro) days before the referendum in 2016. And it wasn’t just a small ad in the classifieds, the DUP funded a glossy ‘wraparound’ supplement that covered the main body of the newspaper. A newspaper that is not circulated in Northern Ireland.

The party never declared how much the advertising cost, nor did they reveal where exactly the money was coming from. Writing in 2017, Fintan O’Toole suggested it was the most expensive single piece of propaganda ever issued by an Irish political party, and nothing has transpired since to refute this claim.

If Boris has any backbone, he will throw the DUP under the bus. It might just be the single political master-stroke he is so desperately searching for.