Here comes Santa Claus!
SANTA CLAUS is coming to town, but it nearly wasn’t to be after a November nightmare at the North Pole.
Operation Wrapping Paper is back on track, with the sleigh due to depart on time and at full capacity on Christmas Eve. However, a series of setbacks last month meant that, for the first time ever, Christmas was in danger of being cancelled – or at least postponed until January.
Jerry Jingles, Chief Logistics Officer at the North Pole, said that a series of unfortunate events had put the festive season in jeopardy.
‘It all began when elf Glenda Glitter had a cold,’ Elf Jingles explained. ‘She sneezed while carrying some of Santa’s magic dust through the workshop and somehow managed to get it all over some Our Generation Dolls. They came to life, broke out of their boxes and went walkabout the North Pole. We spent three days trying to round them up but eventually Santa got in touch with his friend, Bo Peep, who came and gathered them up.’
After that, a serious administration issue saw the production and sorting of toys delayed by a fortnight.
‘See what happened was Holly Bough was carrying the naughty and nice lists down the stairs when she tripped,’ said Elf Jingles. ‘She was OK but the lists went in every direction and got mixed up so all the pages had to go back to the sorting office to be checked – twice.
‘With so many children around the world, that takes quite a bit of time,’ said Elf Jingles.
Due to these delays, the elves have been working overtime in the workshops for the past few weeks trying to make enough toys for all the good little boys and girls around the world.
Luckily for them, Mrs Claus oversaw a major upgrade of the North Pole’s main kitchen last summer, including the installation of the Bake-o-matic 3,000 which has the capacity to bake 526 mince pies an hours – plenty to keep the tummies of a hungry workforce happy!
There was further worry for the North Pole’s Chief of Transport, Sarah Sleighbells, at the end of November, when it was discovered that one of the bells on Santa’s sleigh was out of commission.
The elves rocked and rolled it but not a sound could be heard, potentially upsetting the familiar, soothing sound of Santa’s approach on Christmas Eve.
‘We really feared that it had lost its jangle,’ said Elf Sleighbells. ‘But we carried out some routine tests and had a elfineer come look at it. He’s now applied some jingle gel to the jingle bell and, I’m delighted to say, its back in full working order.’
Elf Sleighbells has had a special team gathering information from social media, the Planning Department of Wicklow County Council and other sources to make sure that any new houses that Santa needs to visit this year have been added to the map.
‘This is just a back-up plan really,’ said Elf Sleighbells.
‘These days we have a Santa-Nav that plots the route but we like to prepare a map for Santa just in case Rudolph is singing too loudly again and he can’t hear the instructions.’
Noise may not be the only thing bothering Santa on his journey this year as Mrs Claus discovered last week that one of the triple-insulated mittens from his special Christmas suit was missing.
‘Every year!’ chuckled Mrs Claus. ‘Every year, without fail, he rips something or loses something. He thinks he might have left it somewhere in Ashford but really, Ashford, Annamoe, Aughrim... it could be anywhere.’
Now that the missing mitten has been noticed, Candy Cane, the North Pole’s Chief Seamstress, has been working on a new pair which should be ready in time for Christmas Eve.
Planning on the ground in Wicklow has been ongoing for months, under the watchful eye of the Chief of Operations, Marty Mistletoe.
As always, his highly trained team of frontline elves have been co-ordinating efforts to cope with any potential mishaps in the Garden County.
The Wicklow Reindeer Rescue Association (made up of Wicklow SPCA, Ash Animal Rescue, Wicklow Animal Welfare and the Irish Horse Welfare Trust) has been consulting with local vets on how to treat a range of reindeer ailments, including hot-hot-hoofitis, antler ache and deer drain.
On the ground, the Glen of Imaal Red Cross Mountain Rescue Team and the Dublin Wicklow Mountain Rescue Team have been carrying out late-night training operations with the Coast Guard on the cliffs near Bray Head. This is in case there is a repeat of 2014, when a reindeer sneezed mid-flight causing the sleigh to shudder and a Snow Glow Elsa Doll to take a tumble down a rock face over the Dart line.
They have also been training with some tree surgeons (and their vital harnesses) in case of another Cabbage Patch Kids disaster of 1983, when a stray cross-wind saw some dolls start a new life in some old oaks in Tomnafinnoge Woods.
Emergency responders, including Wicklow Fire Service, the Coast Guard, Civil Defence and the RNLI, have all been briefed on how to approach reindeers without startling them. This is now protocol as, for the second year in a row, Santa had to call on the assistance of Rathdrum Fire Service in 2018 when he got distracted by a particularly pretty garden lights display, almost crashed into the tower at Glendalough and had to carry out an emergency landing.
A fire crew managed to guide him and the reindeer to an open space and, after checking that nobody nearby was awake, cleared them for take-off. Santa has said that he is very much looking forward to his visit to Wicklow this year.
With the hospice due to open soon, he hopes to sprinkle some magic dust over it as he passes by Magheramore. He is also really looking forward to seeing the new Santa display in Arklow.
‘I’m going to take a picture of me with me – that’ll confuse the elves,’ he laughed. It won’t be the only time he has his camera out as he’s promised Mrs Claus that he’ll get an elfie by the Christmas tree in Hozier’s house.
‘To make up for the mitten,’ he explained. ‘She’s a huge fan.’
Frontline Manager Timmy Tinseltoes has reported that the packing up of the sleigh is progressing well.
‘Chief Toymaster Fred Funtastic and his team are cross-referencing all the toys with the letters as everything is packed into the sleigh so we’re triple sure that we have toys for all the good, little children,’ said Elf Tinseltoes.
‘The good news is that, because so many children are leaving out snacks for Santa, he won’t need to bring any with him, so that will leave room for a few more surprises,’ he said.
Mollie McSprinkles, who looks after the naughty and nice lists, said that the naughty list for Co Wicklow is relatively short, with quite a few names having come off it this month due to improved behaviour.
However, having so many good little girls and boys in the Garden County causes other issues.
‘Because there are so many good children in Co Wicklow, we would urge them all to go to bed nice and early on Christmas Eve, otherwise Santa might not have time to get around to them all before they wake up again,’ said Elf McSprinkles.
BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD CHILDREN IN WICKLOW, WE URGE THEM ALL TO GO TO BED EARLY OR SANTA MIGHT NOT HAVE TIME TO GET AROUND TO THEM ALL