OR LAMISHPACHOT: A LIGHT UNTO THE NATION’S BEREAVED FAMILIES

Over the past five months, during the most painful war Israel has experienced, the Or Lamishpachot (light for families) organization has embraced more than 2,000 families that share the same unfathomable pain. Irit Oren Gonders is the founder of the organization, whose motto is “Choosing life.”

WHY DID YOU ESTABLISH OR LAMISHPACHOT?

I am a former head of the IDF’s Officers Bureau in the Combat Engineering Corps. In my position, I was exposed to the unbearable grief of parents of soldiers who went on a mission but never came back. The recognition of the suffering of the families struck my heart and touched me deep in my soul. I felt a strong need to embrace and encourage, support and help.

In the summer of 2006, I held the first meeting in my house with parents who shared a common destiny. I wanted to get them to be close to one another. Three families of soldiers from the Combat Engineering Corps – the parents of First Sergeant Adi Avitan; Captain Moshe Trento; and Captain Moshe Eyni – were at the core of the organization. Following the meeting, stemming from a feeling of responsibility and duty, and my desire to change and influence, I founded Or Lamishpachot. All my activity has been voluntary. Thousands of bereaved parents, sisters, and brothers participate in our activities: enrichment meetings; empowering and mutual support; help maintaining an optimistic routine.

WHAT IS UNIQUE ABOUT YOUR ORGANIZATION?

Since 2006, Or Lamishpachot has maintained an extensive operation for 1,700 bereaved families from all over the country. We honor the heroism of parents and siblings who put every effort into going on with their lives and filling an interminable void. Our services include food and condolence baskets during shiva; social activities; family bonding events; tours; holiday gifts; and scholarships for siblings. These activities are propelled by hundreds of volunteers throughout the country dedicated to assisting bereaved families to emerge from their grief and move forward.

Since the brutal Hamas attack and the outbreak of war, almost 500 new families have lost their loved ones in the line of duty and were added to the circle of grief. Their loved ones gave their lives in Israel’s defense or fell victim to the murderous terrorism on that Black Sabbath. This is an unprecedented number of sudden casualties whose families face immeasurable pain and suffering, and we must prepare to support them at this time of great sorrow.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE SINCE OCTOBER 7?

Or Lamishpachot has been working around the clock to provide bereaved families with immediate support. We opened three headquarters that coordinate assistance and activity for the bereaved families. The first headquarters is focused on identifying bereaved families, visiting them during the shiva, listening to their stories, and giving them a warm hug.

The second is a logistics center where we consolidate food supplies, prepare condolence packages, and distribute them throughout the country to families sitting shiva.

The third headquarters is dedicated to providing social support to newly bereaved families. One of our flagship programs for helping the newly bereaved families is our Matching Family Mentor Program. Families who have already experienced the loss of a loved one are matched with newly bereaved families in order provide peer support and mentoring. Families are matched based on geographic location, age, and similar sets of experiences. The program was born out of the recognition that families report benefits from connecting with others who have experienced similar struggles. Through peer support, they can talk openly, express their feelings without judgment, laugh without being misunderstood, and feel less lonely and isolated. Often lifelong friendships are made with other families who travel the same path.

To implement this program immediately and on such a large scale, we are holding two

conferences for bereaved families. One is a conference for bereaved families who will serve as mentors to provide them with guidance and tools to support newly bereaved families. The other is a conference for newly bereaved families – to create a place for new families to find community and hope by matching them with veteran families who truly understand the painful sudden loss of a family member.

AND YOU SUPPORT SIBLINGS AS WELL ?

The organization supports thousands of siblings. Siblings of fallen soldiers are often overlooked and feel forgotten behind their parents’ pain. Our main project is Scholarships for Siblings of Fallen Solders. Every year, Or Lamishpachot has honored siblings at our annual dinner, where the scholarships are presented. Every year, we distribute more than 100 scholarships of $1,250 each.

This year, due to the war, hundreds of siblings have lost a brother or a sister, so we immediately awarded an additional 80 scholarships.

Irit Oren Gonders