Why men (famous or not) are struggling with how to talk about Harvey Weinstein
LOS ANGELES – There’s no script for this.
Hollywood’s men – both the world-famous variety and executives who sit at the top of the studio system – have struggled to find the right words as the Harvey Weinstein scandal tornadoes through Los Angeles, turning the existing power structure to rubble.
After a deafening silence, stars of both genders began issuing statements about multiplying Weinstein allegations, which range from sexual harassment to rape. But aside from Quentin Tarantino (the sole male voice who has copped to knowing “enough to do more than I did”), most are being excessively careful to keep plausible deniability on their side.
Which begs the question: Why are men so afraid to talk about Weinstein? Or disgraced filmmaker James Toback, alleged to have sexually harassed or assaulted hundreds of women? Or the persisting allegations against R. Kelly, accused of sexual misconduct with minors and entrapment? And others in positions of power, whose names remain in the shadows but are well known within women’s whisper networks?
Some say stars are caught in a quagmire: Those who stay silent are judged as complicit. If a bold-faced name acknowledges knowing, they’re scolded for not doing more (see: Matt Damon, who recently admitted he knew how the mogul once harassed Gwyneth Paltrow, and director James Gunn, who took to Twitter to remind this journalist he’s been publicly sounding the alarm on Toback for years).
“Shocked” and “appalled” statements are dissected by an increasingly hostile public. And if you pipe up, your own skeletons could come out to haunt you.
“You can’t win,” says a Hollywood insider unwilling to speak publicly because of the sensitivity of the topic. “The guys who are shutting up are being accused of being accomplices. The guys who speak are being accused of being liars. It’s gotten a little McCarthy-esque out there.”
Across the country, non-famous men are struggling, too, often growing quiet around the proverbial water cooler as Weinstein’s name is invoked by their female counterparts, afraid of saying the wrong thing. From a recent scan of popular men’s online destinations such as GQ and Maxim – vs. female-focused sites like Refinery29 and Teen Vogue – a striking imbalance in coverage isn’t helping, either.
“Part of the problem is that we have a pop culture that reinforces those old (macho) notions of masculinity,” says Michael Kasdan, director of special projects for The Good Men Project, a social platform that invites men across the country to share their stories around fraught topics like rape culture, racism, sexism and consent.
“A lot of the publications that are leading voices are women’s publications like Teen Vogue. We have to do a much better job, not only for men but also for boys,” he says. “That’s where it all starts.” MEANWHILE, the playbook is shifting inside Hollywood faster than the patriarchy can fathom.
Amazon Studios fired or accepted resignations of three executives last week after allegations surfaced of sexual misconduct; an agent was fired for the alleged sexual assault of an underage male client; Nickelodeon canned The Loud House creator Chris Savino after multiple women lodged complaints against him; NBC News suspended political journalist Mark Halperin (who also just lost a book deal and a HBO movie) for allegations of sexual harassment more than a decade ago; and studios are hastily holding sexual harassment seminars.
The newfound zero tolerance has unnerved some Hollywood publicists, who worry about their high-profile clients being hit with false allegations.
“That’s a crock,” scoffs activist Melissa Silverstein, founder of the Women and Hollywood website, which advocates for parity across the entertainment industry. “It’s still so difficult for any woman to come out. It does not benefit you. It’s not something that you do lightly. It’s something that you weigh very, very heavily.”
More notably, she says, the jig is up on Hollywood’s pervasive culture of toxic masculinity. “These white men all benefited from the status quo,” she says. “They have the privilege of not having to see these things. So the ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ – I don’t buy any of that.”
A disintegrating status quo is why this particular scandal has become a nightmare for the testosterone-fueled showbiz industry, says Eric Schiffer, chairman of Reputation Management Consultants in Los Angeles.
Many powerful men haven’t said a word because they “don’t want to add to the power of this movement, which is terribly sad and unfortunate,” he says.
He’s skeptical when high-powered stars and executives say they knew nothing about Weinstein’s alleged predatory behavior, calling some of the comments “epicscale lies” and others “likely true and grossly naïve in the way they perceived their surroundings.”
One-on-one, candid insiders like Thor: Ragnarok director Taika Waititi will cut through the controlled silence. “Everyone has heard these stories for many years,” the New Zealand director, who has never met Weinstein, told USA TODAY recently. “And no one has done anything about it until now. It’s so crazy that this stuff can go on in the background and people can go, ‘Oh, I never knew.’ “
In fact, when he arrived in L.A., “my impression of Hollywood producers was they all tried that,” he said. “I’ve been to cafés where I’ve heard sleazy guys (BSing) young, pretty actresses about being producers . ... I find it really gross.”
The truth hurts. But it’s working. Where do men go from here? Read primers. Listen to women. “Create the environment so this can change,” says Silverstein. “And own it. If you’ve done it, own it.”
Coming clean and apologizing is the one strategy that seems to be working.
Ben Affleck apologized to actress Hilarie Burton when an old groping story surfaced on Twitter recently. Last week, George H.W. Bush apologized through a spokesman for having “patted women’s rears.” Halperin issued a lengthy apology on Twitter Friday, owning his past behavior.
Several who worked with Weinstein have vowed to do more. Kevin Smith, who built a career off Weinstein’s influence, announced he will donate residuals from films like Clerks and Chasing Amy to Women in Film, a nonprofit that advocates for women in the industry.
Tarantino called for “other guys who knew more to not be scared,” he told The New York Times. “Don’t just give out statements. Acknowledge that there was something rotten in Denmark. Vow to do better by our sisters.”
And George Clooney says it’s time to strip Hollywood of its safety net.
“What we hope is that this is a watershed moment for us as a society,” the Suburbicon director told USA TODAY. “Where women feel safe enough to talk about this issue, feel believed. And where men who are committing these crimes, these violations, don’t feel safe, and feel as if they do these things, they are going to be outed, they’re going to be sued, they may even get litigated, maybe even go to jail for it.
“If we can get to that point, then we’ve actually succeeded.”
– USA Today/TNS