How free agency has turned West into basket-brawl

The past few days of free agency in the Western Conference reminded me of the fight scene in Anchorman.

You remember the classic bit in the Will Ferrell comedy when Ron Burgundy and his news team find themselves face-to-face with their biggest rival news team. The bicycle-riding bunch lead by Vince Vaughn’s character Wes Mantooth wants to rumble – they’ve brought chains, a switchblade and what looks to be a barbecuing fork – and Ron Burgundy’s crew is armed and ready.

“All right,” Mantooth says, “let’s do this.”

But before anyone strikes a blow, the news team from the third-rated station shows up.

Then comes the public news team. Then the Spanish-language news team.

Before you know it, everyone is engaged in an all-out brawl.

It’s pretty much the same level of mayhem and madness that we can expect in the Western Conference next season.

A week ago, the only for-sure contender in conference was Golden State. But then Chris Paul decided to re-sign with Houston, Paul George shocked the world by choosing to stay in Oklahoma City, and LeBron James pulled the trigger on a move to the Los Angeles Lakers. And then to make sure they weren’t upstaged or something, the Warriors did the most Warrior of things and added DeMarcus Cousins.

Suddenly, the West looks like the Anchorman brawl.

Now, I’ll be the first to say that I’m not as enamored with the Lakers as, say, the Vegas oddsmakers. Only a few hours after LeBron announced his move to La-La Land, they had given the Lakers NBA title odds second only to the Warriors.

I don’t see it. As of now, these Lakers look a lot like the Cavalier roster that hastened LeBron’s departure from Cleveland. It’s LeBron and a bunch of guys.

That could change, of course. The Lakers have been in desperate pursuit of Kawhi Leonard, but maybe that deal gets done and maybe it doesn’t. The Spurs are under no obligation to help the Lakers build a super team. But without another superstar, it’s hard to see LeBron and this collection of Lakers winning a title.

Trouble now is that he’ll be trying to do that in the West instead of the East. The slog through 82 games is going to be way tougher, and the gauntlet through the playoffs is going to start in Round 1 instead of the conference finals.

Of course, that’s the case for every team in the West.

Not saying the East is going to be a cakewalk – Boston and Philadelphia are really good – but even the Celtics and Sixers might be a year or more away from being true challengers for the title.

The West has heavyweights ready to throw some roundhouses. What fun for fans. Teams might not see getting socked in the gut repeatedly as anything amusing. They’d better come armed for a street brawl every night. They’ll need to be locked in from start to finish.

Back in the office after the Anchorman brawl is dispersed by police, Ron Burgundy sits at his desk holding a beer in one hand. He stares wide-eyed, then takes and exhales a deep breath.

“Boy,” he says, shaking his head, “that escalated quickly.”

After only a day of free agency, everyone in the Western Conference feels exactly the same way.

(The Oklahoman/TNS)