Heavy rests the heads who wear the royal crown
there was a game we played when we were children. We asked each other ludicrous questions and everything was possible.
What if you knew then what you know now? Would you have acted differently? What if you had the choice to live to be 200? Would you choose to do so?
and here is one for 2020 which was just as relevant throughout the 20th century: What if the royal Family knew how to communicate effectively with each other? Would they be happier?
once again the world is riveted on the British royal family. the latest news that their royal highnesses – the duke and duchess of sussex, harry and meghan, decided to relinquish some of their royal duties and found themselves with no royal duties and stripped of their titles.
We remain transfixed as what is supposed to be the personification of dignity becomes something completely different. the queen of england in her 94th year has maintained her devotion to her responsibilities as the queen of england and the head of the Church. her family less so.
In the last 100 years an almost-king has abdicated, royals have divorced, been photographed in compromising positions out of wedlock, and have generally engaged in the foibles of ordinary folk.
and as ordinary common folk we can look and ask what if the royal family had done a course in effective communication. What if the royal family had visited their local community mediation center? What if they had known that they had options?
What if harry and meghan had known how to define the difference between their needs and their positions?
What if harry’s brother, the future King, William and his wife Kate would have had the same skills?
What if the BBC presenter who tweeted a racist picture comparing meghan markle and harry’s baby boy to a monkey had sat down with harry and meghan and understood the depths of the hurt he caused and, yes, even taken actions to repair the damage?
What if harry and meghan could effectively communicate with the immediate royal family?
Israel and the uK do not share the concept of royalty. however, both in Israel and in the uK, communities are looking for a new way of solving conflict. In Israel there are more than 44 community mediation and dialogue centers, and they reach out to the community throughout the year but especially during the week of dibbur chadash (taking place in February this year), in which more than 130 events take place throughout the country in the centers in schools, libraries and other public places.
according to the latest reports, the duke of sussex – harry – has left the uK to join his wife meghan, the duchess of sussex in Canada. In doing so, in addition to the seismic earthquake in their wake, they will also miss the opportunity to participate in the annual Family mediation Week that took place between the 20th and 24th of january.
harry and meghan are no longer royal and will soon be fully-fledged community members (aKa “commoners”), though of course they have access to more resources then most. my humble suggestion is to use this change in status as an opportunity to learn mediation skills in order to navigate future conflicts so that these same conflicts build rather than destroy relationships. the resolution of “megxit” seems to have benefited no one. a mediated agreement may well have benefited everyone.
The writer is director at the Mosaica Center for Conflict Resolution. Dibbur Chadash Community Mediation and Dialogue Week exposes the general public of Israel to models of mediation, dialogue and peaceful living. The project is being implemented by community mediation and dialogue centers in Israel and are part of the “Gishurim” program sponsored by the Community Work Service of the Ministry of Labor, Social Welfare and Social Services and under the management of the Mosaica–Religion, Society and State.